She was the only girl I was able to be myself around. She listened to my stories, laughed at my jokes, cuddled with me when I was sad and made me smile when I couldn’t. I was completely in love with her. We spoke of marriage, children and growing old together. It was the perfect picture. I honestly thought I had found the one for me; my perfect match. I thought we were forever.
I was wrong.

In the blink of an eye, she was gone. She left me for another, better man. As every person would be, I was devastated. I tried everything to get the love of my life back, in vain. Nothing I said or did was going to change the fact that her feelings have shifted to another.

Before I could even understand the whole situation, the pain of my loss hit me. My feelings were everywhere. It started with tears in the shower, sleepless nights, alcohol and my chest caving in every time I heard her name. I’ve woken up to tear-soaked pillows, caused by nightmares so many times. I’ve pushed away friends and family, because I was so afraid to love anyone any more.

Then suddenly, it all stopped. No tears, anger or pain and no happiness. I became a mirror: blank when nobody was around and showing everyone smiles, laughter and joy; just what they wanted to see. Only I knew that none of it was real.

I love the colour of his skin,
And the warmth in his eyes,
I love the freckles dispersed across his nose,
The mark under his right eye,
I love his his brutally embarrassing dance moves,
that he calls me "my girl"
I love How he can throw me over his shoulder like a doll,
how he makes me feel beautiful, brilliant and ****,
I love How he calms me when I spiral,
How he makes me laugh so much I cry,
I love his clear ,crisp, distinct voice of reason,
And The little things he does to supprise me,
I love his road rage,
And How he makes me feel brave,
I love How hugs me when I cave,
His smell when I nuzzle in
I love how we never run out of topics,
How the day can fade away.
I don't love that he loves not just me,
The pain I've caused him,
Spit Roads to uncertainty,
I don't love how I fear he can sink and drown,
And I don't feel strong enough to rescue him,
To bring him back to safe ground like he could do for me,
I'm not qualified in that field, like she.
But what I don't love the most is even though I would try my hardest to save him I'm afraid he could drag us both down.

All three together, rock bottom searching for stable ground.

How deadly is the sight of the flying witch,
she's mighty and flawless, her name is Lynn
elegant and graceful in her broom she'll go,
All of her victims had that exact same thought.

She seizes you with kind words
and for your soul offers you gold.
With her, you enjoy flying,
for you trust you won't fall.

Once in her cave, she speaks with friendly words
she fills your belly and fabricates a loving home,
It's hard to see her as from the underworld
It's hard to see what's about to come.

Before you realize she attempts to take control,
eating the brains of whom you call your own.
She's yelling and screaming, how putrid is her soul.
The witch is evil, but no one cares of what you know.

Now down the stairs she complacently goes,
raises an eyebrow, it's diabolical, it's smug
she then smiles to her husband, a mere puppet of hers
Satan is that woman, the witch who yells.

Im split in two,
Like a pair of old shoes,
One is in the dryer,
The other caught fire,
And I dont know what to do.

Well my mom shouts,
" darlin you cant leave this house..
Til you've got both shoes on your feet!"
But even if I found both shoes,
Id still be incomplete.

It’s been a long dim dance with me, I am surprised,

So surprised by your resolution

Looking into

Your eye, I saw the destination of a long, long trip

And I’ve been lost before

But now the coast rolls up and in trees

I rest with cool, cold eyes and a heart

Going thump

Thump thump

Kick, goes the beat of the drum mourning something

Lost at sea

In the ocean

Riding storms to whole new worlds and without me

Signal fire I send up, just like me,

Mourning your love I send up for lightning

And down, down, down it comes

All to curse you

All to nurse you back into health

Lost to a cool, cold sigh from a heart

Going thump

Thump thump

In the dim light, reaching its thorns out on vines

and you escaped

I’ve been lost before, but this is nothing

and you will thank me

No one gets it.

Why do you act different in school and outside, a classmate might ask.
He would see me everyday at school then when he talks to me via phone, he doesn't think it's me, except my voice.

At school,
I am cool with my friends,
Respectful to my teachers,
Laugh just as hard as them,
Go out sometimes to Panera or the movies,

With family, however
I do chores,
Mostly playing video games for 5 hours a day with friends.
Cuss so much that I'm glad there's a door
And seem so relaxed that I'm a whole 'nother person.

Some wonder why.
Some never payed attention and will after this poem is published.
Some question how.

I talk to her, and her
She talks back, it echoes
I squeeze her, and her
She burrows into my chest, splitting it

I laugh with her, and her
She smiles back with too many teeth
I can’t love her... and her, and me
We cry tears, we should have never let be.

I am the sword that splits the world in twain.
I am the shield upon which pain breaks.
I am the storm that rages in your heart.
I am the rain that patters softly across your cheeks.
I am the cheerful madman waltzing down your street.