i spoke
and now i know
what i wondered long ago

i can't hide behind
that favorite line
the one i use to fantasize:

"what if I -"

speak and i am heartbroken.

----------------------------

"what if"

i hold my tongue and i never know?

i cannot say i'll never know
i broke my silence, not long ago

and my heart is broken
but at least i know,
which is better:

and it is to speak.

Blood stains the hands of the guilty a nauseous crimson.
From first contact,
To the last breath,
Remains no emotion

Beneath their fine skin
Turning a sickly gray
From the chaos within a human,
To their ability of empathy

We are no different from the animals
We also have a purpose
But one must not be afraid of theirs

For as long as we live,
We are controlled by someone
Unknown or known to us.
Their grasp on reality isn’t as strong as ours,
For that’s why we are above them

Everything kept in bittersweet silence

Lips ****** from biting back the sentences I am not courageous enough to speak aloud

Eyes shut to avoid sting of reality

Upon shelves towering above stature sit dusty expectations
Long since placed carefully with wonderment
Slathered in cobwebs and mice have moved in and taken up permanent residence in the nooks between

It's a **** miracle they stayed in position this whole time
I cannot seem to stop fidgeting and swinging wildly from distraction to distraction
Branches leading away from my plans
Some of them not even sturdy enough to tolerate my weight
Sending me spiraling spectacularly to the solidly packed earth far below

Selecting thrills instead of skills

Denying truth politely
As one turns down a piece of gum

And it doesn't help laying bare my soul
I do anyways

Although I resent pain caused by opening these ancient wounds at least then my sorrow is freed

Heat and hearth give birth to the pain of the people
Burning down whatever was created
Blowing away the ash left behind from memories
The wind whispering tyranny into the ears of the leaders
Portraying violence among the people we once called friends
The understandings of a mind get burned
Causing strain in society

There is no more room for hope
The noose is around our necks
We are getting whipped into place
One foot out of line and we’re gone
The fear coursing through our veins should be replace with anger
Anger towards those who wrong us
The ones who decide what we can and can’t do
The ones who say they’re doing it in the name of God
Well, I hate to break it to you
There is no God,
There is no one coming for us except ourselves

I'm queer
Are the words I held back
As I watched you go

And now I'm left wondering
What happens now that these words
Are ones you'll never know

I'm queer
Are the words I held back
As I watched you go

And now I'm left wondering
What happens now that these words
Are ones you'll never know