I was wanderer,
Wandering in the land of death and despair;
Blows and bruises were my food
Blood and tears, my drink.

I was a wanderer,
Wandering in the desert of solitude;
The sands were of broken promises
The sun was my life's Judas.

I was a wanderer,
Wandering in the forest of fear;
The trees were all overpowering and bullying
The animals were all predators.

I am still a wanderer,
Wandering in the infinite land, desert and forest;
In search of a home to where I belong
In a quest to find solace in the stillness.

I stepped pass my reason
As it writhed on the ground
And from it oozed
All the past voices
Howling with so many how’s
How to Love, how to Live
How to Dress, how to Deceive
How to tailor the parts of me for Society
But as it sounded I wondered
Why such reason
Ever was ever part of me
For I heard not a single note of mine
Being played from it

the water filled our lungs
and bled through the cracks in our skin.

bubbling, brimming

the sea touched my eyes and you were white
with seafoam, curdling between lashes,
silvers pooling over stark blues
on fingertips.

sinuous, submissive.

the piercing cold mixed with the rough salt
over tide-smoothed shells.

we breathed out our mist to cry over crashes of thunder.

enigmatic, flowing.

you are an acrobat, my prideful tide.  

your steel waters wash the sand from my legs
and glassy waves cleanse, twisting and curling,
releasing through our ocean breeze.

you opened your eyes and all i saw was sea glass.

My memories become
Motionless in midnight
Adept to freeze frames
Still seconds of past scenes
Linger on auditory loops
Repeat, remix, replay
Motionless my memories
Become in midnight
And at some point
The Spielberg center of my soul
Screams cut

when I am far away from my body, I like to imagine that I am running in a field. The air is warm and gentle, the grass is tall and soft. The sun is warming the top of my head. And I am running. I have no place to get to, but I run like it’s the destination of a lifetime.

I run because that’s what I want to do. I run because that’s where I want to be.

I wish we could exist,
just you and I,
curled together
in a sound-proof bubble.
Nothing but breathing
your air
and kissing
your lips
and touching
your silk-soft skin.
I wish we could float,
unseen and untouched
though this world
full of judgement
and hate.
You are my peace,
my smile,
you are the moment
I close my eyes
and my mind stills
and empties.
The moment
when nothing else matters,
but the feel
and the smell
and the taste
of you.

I wish we could be,
just be.

Let them run, wild in the fields

Your thoughts, they need to breath

They have been captivated

Captivated long in the maze

Of lost love and future that seem astray

Let them go to a place they know

Where they find solace

But don't loose sight, they tend to wander

Go to the places they still fonder

Guide them to come back to a place so safe

Green fields and everything but maze

every time somone has left
I've gotten a bit better at loving myself
there are lessons in the losses
and I've found solace in the vacancy beside me
I don't mean to refute my feelings
I still pray for someone to stay
but I won't let anyone feel as though they complete me
no one can disturb the peace I created in solitude