I had the dream again
Last night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paintings of life still dancing in my head
Bright light fading
Pouring orange hues and dull yellow rays
Cascading down over earthen tones
Dark green grass masking over
Thick as the leaves blowing in the summer breeze

That was how the sun set
Just a few feet outside my window
A view tailored just for me
For a moment

Blades slowly turning
Endlessly circling
Watching the shadows emanate from their continuation
I know

Blowing ever cooling air into my room
I never thought it would end
But the light faded
And what was left weighed heavy on my eyelids

Eyes shut, I found myself
Slipping further and further into the state
Between life and death itself
No longer aware of the confines of fate

Above me, shackled in place
Slanted up, ever out of grasp
Yet, constricting in my space
dissipated, pulling back a mask

My soul was glowing
Eyes closed shut
Flowing freely out of my self
Motionless and clear cut
So well defined
Hung wrong side up
Arms outstretched from my sides

Blissful and permissive
Opened, floating still
Serenity surrounding

Basking in the glow
Traced back to my window
Seeping over the sill
Across the blades of my fan
Blowing life into my form
New motion brought to life
Free of scorn, near reborn
Suspended above my comatose
Form

And what I found
There
On a summer night
Unaware
Of the world outside
Outside of what
I could see
Was what I have come to terms with
A whole other side of me
And from that moment
I have derived something

A feeling
      I'm not convinced
Anyone else has felt this

Just a kid
Probably could have missed it
And from what I think now
Ideals forming around
Negative spaces
And people or places

But ****** if I don't
Still think about
How it felt
To be that kid in his room
With the light
Fading through
A window fan

A pack of wolves is
Sometimes preferable
To a pack of cigarettes
Makes for a coup de grâce
A merciful death
And I’m fresh out of wolves

It was late and he held me
Tender and close
Like a lover, but as a friend
He put his cheek to mine
For what may have been the last
Time. It's what keeps us apart

Too much time
The wrong time
Too early along in time

Oh how I hate time
For it only takes from us
That which we want.

Yet in that one time
It was exactly the opposite.
For that moment i wished
Time would stay.
Alas, he fled, left me alone.
Time ran faster than ever before
Ripping him from my aching arms.

So silly, that time.
Oh how I hate time.