and it is certain, as certain as wisps of hope and grey smoky prayers can be

that although distance clambers before us, the moon as i see it is the same for you

the days and the nights and the schedules – to hell with them

for all i know we are breathing together, we are inhaling and exhaling as one

two bodies, as one in our mind’s eye

and i cannot help but to feel over every pore what it feels like when your hand flattens against my neck

it burns through my skin even as i sit here, eyes closed to a bright sphere which passed your vision hours earlier

i shudder as the sweet burn runs through me like honey straight from the jar

sugar travels fast and far, on the backs of trillions of ants like stars splayed across the earth

and the earth is just a canvas where we paint our struggles

though i hum at the bursting sparkles above many atmospheres

they do not keep an account of the way your tongue creeps past your lips and onto mine

only the earth knows the way our gaits come together and our bodies exist at the same level

stretched out between us, from one son’s antennae to another’s

the Queen entertains stories of those eyes that i miss, thick black crescents soft against my face

things immeasurable, things untold, things i do not own

you only share these with me but my access to the feelings they leave behind is limitless

the distances i would travel for you to remind me of what i already know, is something the moon understands

despite all else

it is heavy and slow but it always returns, waiting for the inevitable yet dynamic

if you tell me tomorrow what i want to hear today, i’ll get your message on time

just whisper it with those rosy lips of yours and my ears will open their arms to you

better yet, scream you love me into the quiet night sky and the sun will vibrate, causing the moon to chuckle

the ants will find me first

i sit here and i echo

i love you i love you i need you i’m with you i crave you every breath

until we breathe no longer i’ll say it and i’ll listen

we only speak it in breaths apart

i want those words, oh how i need to hear them in person

and i’ll swim oceans and levitate just to hear you again

tell me what i already know

i’m listening with my lungs

——-

Do you dust the seat off that separates us from being strangers or will you sit on the other side of the room pretending not to see me? 
Will you smile showing teeth or will your greeting be a painful one on your part ? 
Should I stand and give you a hug or will your muscles tighten and your face distort at the nearing of my body to yours? 
Will your voice be high and light and full of the energy that says " my life is great, I am happy, I am in control, always in control" 
Will I still hear the quiver at the end of your speech that has never once convinced me that you are truly all of what you claim to be ? 
Or, will I fall for your charade this time, for the first time, because that seat that you may or may not sit in has been dusty for too long. It's been yours since you left although I've never told you. 
I should of but would you have listened? 
Your not the only one with speech prepared for moments like these that screams " I am happier then you and don't you forget it ". 
We are the same you and I, Since 5 years old. The differences are that my speech has never been spoken and I fail to count the amount of times I've heard yours.
Your seat has been saved, your embrace longed for, your smile imagined. 
What separates us is far more then a dusty old seat, and yet if you only sat down, just for a second…

In another space,
I was the air, free and floating,
Boundless, buffeting mountains, caressing downy
feathered geese, kissing the sun.
And you were drawn to me,
Dancing in gossamer mist; the hope
Of dreamers.

Jealous,
I formed around you. Darkening
Our skies.
Rolling my deep baritones
On deafening ears.
Swirling with winds of fear;
The glooming grew.
You
needed the life of detachment--

To fall.



The friction stormed
Within us;
Thundering our doom.
And when you dropped free--



I

dissipated


in the dark.

The schism obscures
The sound of your voice
And our song.
Epochs of existence
Extend out and back
To a time
Before the fall.

But no vast expanse
Of distance can
Dim the light of your memory;
A sweet, shining tribute
To how we laughed and played!
Vivid images of your smile,
Your dance, your sweat, and
Your joy flicker within!

Still, an ocean of earth lies
Between this
And then and
That and when
I was with you,
In the same close space;
Us together,
Ecstatic!
Friends.

Those days of youth have
Never left my mind;
They purify my soul like a
Sacrament.
Your touch as an angel,
Once lost in my past,
But now found,
As if by accident.

You and your painful past –
You and your renewed future,
Slightly unsure of who I am…  
Let me remind you!  

Let me show you our history
In pictures of words --
And the silence between
That speaks louder --
Where you will find
My heart, wet
With the tears of my
Bitter years.    

Let me tell you again
Who I am,
Who you were,
And why we said goodbye.
But I don’t really know why, then.  
I saw you there,
As if by accident,
And I don’t know why,
Now.  

But somehow
We still understand
And believe in that
Time and that place.

Yet there is sad separation
That drowns our embrace,
Pulled apart by currents
Of life
And time,
And the distance between,
Dimming the sound of our voice…

But not our song!  
  
Still we sing,
Still we dance,
Still we play,
And still I see
Your bright smile,
In this same close space,
Within.  

I'll never leave this,
Our close space,
Where we are together,

Always friends.

Sharp sighs and the smell of coffee,
It filled the cold morning air
Of my small room in the apartment.
Grey filled the shadows of my face,
As I hugged myself on the spring bed.

I hadn't been feeling well that morning.
Maybe it was because the old woman
That lived beside me was smoking,
Slowly filling her apartment with tobacco
Instead of cats that meowed gently.

I didn't feel like going out.
Maybe it was because room 7 was open
And out came the strong figure of a man;
A man that'd left his children and wife
I was scared that I'd hear the sobs
Of his little young'uns and his wife
Again for the 5th time, and I'd break.

I didn't want to open my blinds.
Perhaps it was because my apartment was right across room 10,
Housed by a lone boy in his teens.
And maybe if I had open my blinds,
I might have seen his blue glassy eyes
That sobbed for the warmth of
The childhood he had missed and lost.
I swear I heard him howl last night.

I didn't even bother to dress up.
I knew I wasn't going anywhere,
Especially when it was room 5's time,
To remove her dainty mask and honour the drunken sailor's days
By cussing out her only child
And leaving scars in his heart
That no amount of candy would fix.

Don't get me started on room 1.
Oh, room 1, a poète maudit.
There she lays all day in her gown,
Sipping coffee and listening to bicker,
Scooping ideas to weep on paper.
Room 1 had problems of her own,
But she wouldn't dare to confront them.
Not today, at least, room 1 was tired.
Nonetheless, today, room 1 was very observant.

It was a strange small apartment.
It specialized in crazed sane people,
People that didn't grow up too well.
People that weren't quite broken,
But weren't quite fixed either.
They were often cracking under
The own weight of their sins and flaws
But they managed to wake up everyday
And maybe.. Just maybe think
"Today, I'm going to fix myself."

Maybe tomorrow, the old lady would decide to get a bit of fresh air.
Maybe next week, room 7's door will close shut again and ooze with love.
Maybe next month, the kid would've decided to make use of his mouth
And scream "I've had enough!"
He'd bring his mother to tears -
Because that's what she wanted;
For him to stand up for himself.
Maybe next year,  the young teen would pick up his school bag and live his life.
Maybe a month after that year, the poet would've shared a masterpiece.
Maybe by then we'd all have lived better lives and left the apartment.

But today was not the day.
Today nobody had thought to fix themselves.
Today everybody clung to this strange place.

-M.M

This place is sad without you
It heaves a sigh

Emptying it of our things
Signifies the end of making memories here
The end of filling the air between these walls
With our voices, laughter
Sharing life

I want to load the memories onto a hard drive
And preserve them perfectly
So I won't forget them

I'm afraid to shut the door
And leave forever
Without you

we are now apart
at each other's arms
i'm here
you're there

i have to stay
you have to fly
i can't bear this feeling
but i have to hold my heart

once we're lovebirds roving fibers
underneath the moon rivers
the sweet melodies of the nights
those that caress the mights

beach, the universe we adore
sand castles we built with love
the waves tossed in the air
by our laughters

sun is going down
summer's over
the night fell the ground
i'm frozen and numbed

but my heart beats
for you, i know


your heart knows, too
that we still are
in love, but your mind denies

wanna let go of you
cuz i don't want the numb
but i can't