You ground the **** out of me.

I expected a
flawless dive,
My Olympic-gold Diver.
So I put you 32 feet  
off the ground—
Above the chlorine
and expectations’ glare.
Just for you to ******* slip—
hard and graceless.

I do not know why you do this to me
It's clear I'm not a priority
My eyes open
You prefer them closed
Too late to cover betrayal exposed
To me it's obvious as it can get
Stalling makes me more upset
Either way going to find out
You'll have to confront my pout
The death of consideration at our door
Birthing doubt that loudly roars
Staring at undeniable truth
Witnessing what's in front of me doesn't take a sleuth
My desires to back-burner are pushed aside
Then have the nerve to claim you "tried"
When faced with actions you turn tables
Insisting it's my mindset that is unstable
I've went through cycle over and over hoping it will end
Telling myself to not get angry because it's YOUR money to spend
Even though it's true can't help but feel hurt within
Never learned how to be confident in your ability to win
It must be a lifetime of letdowns and loss
Foolish failures have filled my flesh with frost
Seeming obligated to protect you from your habit
Of course you persist on chasing that white rabbit
As merely mortal you are not to blame
Pull is too severe calling out your name
In your optics a wild glimmer awakens
Want to tame it before your morality is taken
The dawn bridges bad past to promising present's fresh start
Gentle wind whispers words to calm currents crashing in my heart
I follow instincts and they lead to the front door
We would walk together but you don't mirror my strides anymore
And time trickles slower just for having bodies near
I'd live over your shoulder advising choices in your ear
Without fear of flailing or getting lost or stuck
Wandering paths anywhere without giving one ****
I would not hold against you the mistakes recklessly made
Wouldn't be so quick to throw your direction shade
I am a little hasty with my poor attitude
Afraid to fly your leaps of faith I automatically exclude
Rooted in wildflowers intentions sway easily with the breeze
Paint feathers black and white to match piano keys
Borrowed from sunsets is glow warming my ice
Sky calls out a sole last roll of the dice
But the ground quakes beneath our feet
In too much debt to surrender and retreat
A compulsion from a screen formed and it appears it's here to stay
Daring you to raise your bet until there's zero pennies left to play
I carry stress for both our hands
Aching brain responds to negativity's demands
Right this second selfishness has me seeing red
Soon as you mumble "sorry" I'll be holding you in my arms instead

Family
Is what they all say
Importance, dignity, faith

Family
Is what they provide for us
But what if that's not what I wanna discuss

I wanna feel all that love and emotion
I wanna belong not to be cautious

Don't you say something wrong
Or else they'll treat you like a dog
Don't you dare to make a wrong move
Cause they'll always find you accused

Of selfishness and pure indignity
And so they'll never let you be
The girl you wish so much to leave

You'll forever be stuck behind
In a dark room inside your mind
Locked in a cage
With walls, not even imagination can change

And you sit, and you wait
For you to find an escape
You wait and you wait
Until you realize you were the bait
Of hatred and pure anger
Not even you can handle

𝓡𝓮𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 🎶

օմԵ օƒ Եհҽ ҍӀմҽ ՏƘվ
Եհҽ ɑՏՏօղɑղϲҽ վօմ հɑѵҽ ҍɾօմցհԵ աíԵհ վօմ
յíѵҽ ɑ ժմҽԵ աíԵհ ʍíղҽ; ϲօղϲҽíԵҽժղҽՏՏ

ʍɑղցӀҽժ ҽѵҽɾվ ժɑվ ժɾҽɑʍ íղ ʍվ ӀíԵԵӀҽ հҽɑժ

í'ѵҽ հҽɑɾժ վօմɾ ʍҽӀօժվ ƒɾօʍ ɑ ϲօղԵɾɑՏԵíղց ահҽɾҽɑҍօմԵՏ - հҽɾҽ...
ƒɑϲՏíʍíӀҽ օƒ ʍվ ƒɑӀՏҽ ՏҽղՏҽ օƒ մղíզմҽղҽՏՏ; ղօմɾíՏհҽժ օմɾ ՏԹҽϲíƒíϲíԵվ'Տ ѵɑíղ ժҽՏԹҽɾɑԵíօղ

մղɑѵɑíӀíղց ƒօϲɑӀ ԹօíղԵ օƒ Թ탃Ӏíղց ʍɑԵԵҽɾՏ ϲհօɾմՏ Եհҽ ɾíՏíղց ϲհҽՏԵ Տҽզմҽղϲҽժ ҍվ ƒɑӀӀíղց

վօմ ɑղժ í հɑѵҽ ҍҽҽղ ɾҽհҽɑɾՏҽժ ϲօմղԵӀҽՏՏӀվ - ɑ
ɑ Տօղց օղ ӀօօԹ ƒɾօʍ myriad ӀíԹՏ

You see me
You free me
And every time
you take me back-

"A hint of light in the dark (I always know)

Only enough to keep from giving up
(you're never too far, cause)
If I could go back to the start;
(wherever you go)
Id break the pattern-
(We're under the same stars.)
-before too late."

You change bodies
Sporting each soul,
Their trivialities vs.
True athenticity
How it tesselates each role;
As if I wouldn't notice it
Always, so open ended;
Every word written -
Every artwork made;
Each specific song -
Either listened to or played

Were never for anyone but myself.