It’s always a battle with you
I try to stand up, and you’re always there to kick me down again
You beat me down and I just lie there and take it
A right swing to my body image, an uppercut to my confidence

I’m never allowed to be happy
And God forbid I feel beautiful for once
You make me out to be this obnoxious person that nobody can stand
But I don’t see you with any friends, and no one’s coming to your defense

You tell me that I annoy all my friends and they’ll all betray me
Yet you never fail to be first in line for taking a swing at me
Always whispering in my ear and telling me that nobody has ever really liked me
But you have always been the first to bash me for being who I am

Maybe I’m really not all that bad
Maybe I’m really ******* fantastic
And maybe you’re just scared that I’ll figure it out and you’ll be forgotten
Because you’re nothing but an irrelevant voice constantly fighting to keep itself heard

You are the voice of my anxiety
You exist because I do
And without me, you are nothing
But without you, I can be happy

I am all you have
I give your voice life and I give it meaning
You are nothing but what I allow you to be
You say I’m nothing, but you are nothing without me

Human beings
Have a unique tendency
To not appreciate their amazing bodies.
To not believe in themselves.
To have such an incredibly low amount
Of self esteem
To the point where they contemplate
Ending
Their lives.
They think that nobody will care
Nobody will notice
If they don't wake up the next day.
They may think of jumping.
Falling.
Speeding through the air
Like a tossed quarter or dime or penny
Into a fountain.
They think that they are only worth
That single penny
That flew through the air
And sank
And hit the bottom of the fountain.
They flicked that quarter or dime or penny
And they made a wish.
A wish that they wouldn't have to
“Deal with it”
Anymore,
A wish that they
Would not
Wake up tomorrow.
But they may not be aware
Of what lies before them.
When they open their eyes in the morning
Their whole life is still ahead of them.
Chances,
Opportunities,
Little moments
That mean the world.
For some reason,
They don't believe
That the future holds these precious moments
They don't believe
That their loved ones
Love them back just as much.
I'm telling them...
I'm telling you,
That I believe.
I believe in you.

You're So Skinny,
you say to me, I Wish I Had a Waist
Like Yours, you say

like it's a compliment.

But

I never agreed to spice up your
own personal recipe
for low self-esteem If
you persist in this
body belief I
will no longer be your
body's relief Go
find another Skinny to
feed your grief

My skin peels
and in the places reborn
I apply products that charge me for beauty and self-esteem.
This isn't really what I need.

My skin peels
the salicylic acid burns my flesh,
but it whispers, “I am not the pains
of my father,”
and I believe it.

I stand in the mirror
and lock eyes to skin.
You are not the pains of your father.
You are not the pains of your father.


My eyes refocus, and I realize
I've been talking to myself again.

My skin peels,
and in the places reborn
what's underneath is revealed:
Raw flesh and parental issues.
When will my showers clean me instead?

oh my
all you dumb ******* boys
who see me
and think
'hm alright'
and meet me
and think
'she's funny'
maybe also cool and kind
but you guys
you're so ******* dumb
because you haven't really seen me
and you give me hope for
that someone would actually love me
but i know that it's a ******* lie
i hate you for giving me hope

Oh, the secret warlock
of your bad intentions

never let others pull your corrections,
push them with inhibitions

be caution, careful what you wish,
or else die inside will be your kiss