My loud voice is shattered
I’ve spoken my truth

Now I slightly whisper
I literally spent all my cooth

I’ve saved your bullets for you
In case you try to point in your mouth and shoot

I have no other words
I have nothing else to prove.

Some people don't realize how much you cry when you throw up
How much you shake
How much your nose runs

Nobody likes to throw up
You feel like a ******* kid
With snot and bile dripping everywhere over the toilet
And your hands clenched to the bowl
Desperate for it to hold you back
And tell you you'll be alright

But I do it every day
Every ******* day
Because I can't afford
A lifetime on the hips

So I find my place on the floor
The place where I spread my towel
In order to make the cold, hard ground
Just a little more forgiving
I have toilet paper ready to wipe my mouth and nose
Because **** gets messy after the first retch of regret

But once it's all over,
You can't just tell people,
"I threw up everything I ate today."
You have to keep going
Like nothing ******* happened
Because otherwise they flock over you
And don't let you do it anymore

People tend to think it's an act
When you want to **** yourself
And it kind of is
You have to put on an act every day
In order to get through basic ****
Showering,
Eating,
Social interactions,
It's all an act
But you still want to die
That part most definitely isn't an act
That's the most real part of you
The deadest part inside
Is what's keeping you alive

The attention seeking *****
Seeks attention
Because they wonder if anyone actually gives a ****
Or if everyone else is putting on an act, too
Because if all the world's a stage,
And we're all just acting,
Then why not **** off some characters
Shakespeare got rid of Romeo and Juliet
And they were still famous
They were still the stars
And if you can be the star
But still be dead
Then why keep on living
When you're already dead inside

Be kind to yourself,
as you are with others

You have these
grand expectations
of yourself
and at times,
those around you

It's good to have goals
and a hunger for
betterment,
but you must also be
vigilant
to keep them realistic

Because, while you are indeed
fierce & strong-willed,
you are also soft
& at times
fragile

You are human.

But that doesn't mean
you are without
superpowers

Your sensitivity is your greatest gift,
but without care,
can also be your greatest
downfall

You must learn to master your craft.

This means to be
patient with yourself
as you would with others,
to show compassion
as you would with others,
to show love,
grace,
& humility,
to yourself

This in practice,
is to truly understand,
& epitomise,
that self-care
is not
selfish

That it is okay to say no,
or to ask for help,
or to be truly
vulnerable

To acknowledge
that fear is
the root cause
of bitterness
& resentment

To embrace the lows,
for making the highs even
sweeter

To let the good wash
over you
the same as
the bad,
& embrace the micro changes,
as the meta
stays the same

To believe you are worthy,
of a great love,
the same as you believe
another's
worthy of
yours

To embody the idiom
that one can
only
truly love another,
after
they learn to love
themself,
& thus allowing
the hard-earned
victory
of grounded, stable
communion

To know the difference between
support
& advice,
love
& lust,
friendships
& partnerships

To have
faith
that you will find your way,
because you will;
because you live your life
with generosity
& authenticity

This is my vision for you,
that you will
make this your reality.

Unleash your magic and know that deep in your core is a wild one that cannot be tamed

Start a fire

Let yourself boil over, cry, scream, vent, speak up, yell, raise your voice

When you are hoarse and worn out, whisper sweetly into your own ears and let love take over

Be outraged

Feel your fear, anger, sadness, pain, hate, confusion, apathy and frustration

When it has reached levels too high to carry in your own hands, lay your body to rest

Sleep until you can wake feeling only joy, hope, love and peace

Be curious, kind, compassionate, weird, non conforming,

Make your bed, your own shape, your own choices

This is your life, your journey

You belong to no man or woman, no parent, no child

You are born of sunlight and dirt, yin and yang