You said you had too much of me,
But you only tasted a drop.
You could never understand
The ocean of me.
I am too much for you.
But my soul
Says she can’t get enough .

My dear,
Me.
Thrumming underneath.
Sobbing.
My sure soft
Heart.
Sleeping between each broken
Part.
Have we waited here
Before?
Swallowed the lock
Afraid of the
Door?
Little one--
You're not so
Small.
Far far more than we might be  
Tall.
Far far more than we're often  
Limited.
Far beyond such simple
Primitive.
Bigger than these boxing
Halls,
Far beyond our fearing
Walls.
Little heart in petal
Glass--
Pink clear water of the
Past--
Listen now, your worried
Heart.
Don't just pull, but simply
Start.
Sorting through the worried
Ends,
Kissing every broken
Bend,
And laugh with every angry
Knot,
Smile because know we ought--
To know no better,
Or be more good.
Listen to right where we
Stood.
And hold it up into the
Light,
Abandon what we fixed as
right.
Abandon notions of
"What"
and
"Might."
And open now, to endless
White.
And healing
Dark,
Trace along each mending
Mark,
And I, sweet me--
Just simply
Start.

a beautiful,
complicated,
driven,
compassionate,
deep,
careful,
mes­s...

Sometimes I see a brief glimpse of light.
It is shining on me like the sun in the evening
It is so beautiful, so gold and bright
I can't believe I am the one receiving

I realize that I am fortunate
To be the one to witness this stunning view
I never again want this door shut
And to be left in this dark room with nothing to do

If only I had the power to open this door
Just enough so that the wind won't close it again
I wish to watch this sunset a little more
I need a plan

i learned to smile
really, smile
for there is so much to be happy about
i read a book
and another, and another
for i wished to enlighten myself
i paid attention to the little things
the way the trees turn crimson and gold
when autumn forces its way in
i watched you laugh
and her laugh, and him laugh
and saw joy in its simplest form
i held the hand
of the person i felt most comfortable with
for affection is my favorite form of affirmation

I don't want to be strong today
I want to be weak
I don't want to stay positive today
I want to cry
I don't want to talk today
I want to punch
I don't want to be kind today
I want to wallow
I don't want to write today
I want to hug

I spent the evening walking by a water's edge.
Taking nothing in but the smells and sounds.
Rotting driftwood laying the base over two flies fighting or mating,
In a buzzing cacophony over the soft lapping of the tide.

I see a boat far out drifting rhythmically on a lonely swell.
But unlike me, it's empty, rudderless and aimless.
Or like I was, maybe. But not today.
Today I'm free to enjoy this peaceful escape, just minutes from my back door.

I used to be careful not to slip or trip into the murky black,
I wouldn't have had the strength to get back out then.
It's all me now, no pests, nobody's time but my own.
I like it here, I can just be.