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M Salinger Jul 14
Do you ever feel
like
your heart
may overflow
with emotion?

That it will spill
and splash
against the edges
and tip over
the ledge,
into me
and
the space
between
us?

Not from pain
and
suffering
and its
cheap
electricity

but from
an earnest
love
for the
simplicities
of what it means
to be
living,
and the
complexities
that are intrinsic
to our
nature?

Today, I feel
I could fill
lakes
and rivers
and oceans
with my salty
tears,
that well deep
from within my heart -
full of gratitude
for my existence,
and shame
that I did
not always
want it.

Share your tears with me
and we could give
back to the
Earth
all we have
taken
and been
nourished with.

Today, the gold
of my skin
and of the
sun
seem
inextricably
intertwined

as, I step into
the full cosmic
performance in perfect timing,
effortlessly.

For I can see that
clouds form,
and trees sway,
and wildflowers,
show
their beauty,
for me.

Today,  I ask
myself as
I ask you,
are you ready
to step into
the dazzling
light
of the
moon,
naked and wild,
as the stars
shimmer
and play with your curves,
just for you?

Today, I
understand
in all its
vagueness
where to find
a soul

lost
&
forgotten
disheartened
&
disenchanted

but real
and raw
and weightless
enough to
float endlessly,
tethered
to its muse.

Today, I see
me
and
you
and all
the sensations in between.

Today, I see the truth
of
my
cosmic
awareness.
M Salinger Jul 4
Something happens for you
something changes,
a part of your power
a part of your abilities
a part of you

when you’re faced with truth,
and choice,
when moving from known
into uncertainty

and in the face of this
adversity,
you lose a part of
yourself.

The smoke
it hangs low,
a weight in my lungs
like the feeling in my soul

the forests
burn themselves,
and out of destruction,
the new growth is born,
like us

be born again,
let my love
nourish & caress you
scars and all

rise to the
challenge
when fear beckons

lay your heavy head
and tired mind
in my lap
and let your tears
of sadness,
and longing
flow in the space between my legs

let go.

and like that,
I will hold you
& show you the
promises I won’t
break

let me reveal
my inner corners
as you show me yours,
and prove to you
how tender I will be
with your delicate
heart

resist the temptation
& give into me
instead

make love to me.

lay your lips
on mine
& slip yourself
into the space
between my hips

let me show you
true ecstasy,
let the arch of
my back
show you what
words can’t

let our bated breaths
& escaping moans
be our solemn vow
that fear
will
never
rule here
again

let your fingers
get tangled in my hair
as your heart beats
against mine,
as a reminder of what
is ours

have courage
& fervour
to hold on,
when fear
taunts you to let go,
when it smirks
because the intensity
almost burns,
& your soul bleeds
and your bones ache
& your
will is
tested

in these dark moments,
find strength in me

because something happens for you
something changes,
a part of your power
a part of your abilities
a part of you

when you’re faced with truth,
and choice,
when moving from known
into uncertainty,
when you’re
fearless.
M Salinger Apr 13
My young body is impatient.

Restless
a bird held in a gilded cage
that would be at peace
if that cage was not
there to rattle against
like ribs
creating a fortress
to
a soft heart,
yearning to be free

she mistakenly
thinks freedom
is granted

hungry for experience
so that her bones may know her truth.

My old soul is ever-patient with her.

Understanding
the energy and vitality of youth
and its contagion

my old soul waits

needing no one else's company but
her own,
she will wait lifetimes if she must

because, for her, there is only one
other
to wait
for.

She sits behind me
and my pain,
under a beautiful arc of roses
dripping
the colour of blood

watching over,
and watching those
that have failed her test
with
compassionate
knowing eyes.

For she doesn't know
what
he looks like in this life,
but she'll know
when she sees him

she will feel it when they meet

and an entire lifetime
will
be
captured in
the
strength
of their gaze.

They will bring us to bed,
me, my tired body, and my pain

he will kiss our foreheads
and she will lie down lavender
and we will we drift off into a sweet sleep,
curled into each other

while our
breath is heavy and snores
escape
our chests

and that night, in our dreams
we will meet
his pain

and together,
fingers interlaced
the sun setting on the edge of the horizon
the last lights of day playing on the ocean crests,
we will walk into the water

and be
washed
clean.

We will lose time,
and at times
each other's hands,
and the waves of the ocean will take us in
like deep sighs

for one full night,
under the full moon
we will float,
and as we pay our respects to all those before us,
we will be bathed and renewed.

As day breaks, the tides gently bring us back to shore
and we will bend our heads to the ground
and thank the sea for what it has taken
and given
in return.

-

We will have wildflowers in our hair and around our necks,
and you will tell me that you see our eternity in my eyes,
and
I will look into yours and see the happy laughter of our children
running and free

we will give our pain back to the earth
and will give ourselves
to each other

two souls
in this lifetime
in every lifetime
in sacred union.
M Salinger Apr 13
I search for him,
he who would take my pain
and carry it as his own

even just for a moment,
so I that I could feel what it is to breathe without this weight
on my ribcage.

But they would just
walk through my gates

through my garden,
and see the ugliness of my pain
holding court in the center,
and would flee in fear
and disgust.

And each time I sat next to
my pain,
holding its hand
and
letting my tears nourish the earth around
its deep roots
that wind through,
because nothing and no one else
dared to go nearer.

I sat, the only company my pain
has ever known
and told it with damp eyes that watch
the abandon,
that they are beautiful
just as they are,

and that men that can't see
beauty
in pain,
are simply boys
playing
&
performing.

And each time,
my heart bleeds a little less.

And so I sit in wait
with the only real company
I've ever known
and hope for more,
tomorrow.
M Salinger Apr 13
I wash your sins
within me

I heal
and nurture
them

not for you,
and one moment
on your long list.

I cleanse
your transgressions,
for me

and for her,
and our daughters,
and their daughters.

In the
undercurrent of my
being,
I bathe
and swim
and search

for a way
forward,

because what is
existence
if not time
pulling
us along?

-

I think
I was born into
this life
a healer.

To feel this shared
pain
and see its shadows

as if light, reflecting
and dancing
against a wall,
creating
constellations
of
heartache.

I see now
my purpose,
to connect with the
heavens
from this
earth
so this wicked
energy may
leave
this
world.

And us.

To nourish each other,
so that we can choose
to transcend
pain

in this life
of tremendous joy
and suffering

a human existence,
where love
and its triumphs,
and
deepest
darkest
of
pitfalls

coalesce
into this flesh
and
cross both space and time
to make
generations.

This flesh,
that I now wear
proudly,
albeit timidly
at times.

That paradox,
I want
for her in this
existence too.
M Salinger Apr 1
Sometimes, I get angry
and
sometimes,  I don't know why.

It's a pain that's
inherited and
passed down
the generations

I think around 6,
I became lonely
but I think at 8,
I became alone

when I first learned
that telling
those around me,
would not
fix
the problem
and would only
make
the heartache
more
unbearable.

So, I started to perfect
the art of performance:

good daughter
protective sister
independent
&
fearless woman
loving friend
sacrificing lover.

and
instead of expressing my pain
I took on that of others,
because that pain
I could control
or at least
I could try.

Over the years, the veil between
performance
and me
became thinner and thinner
until one day
it vanished
and I
didn't
even
notice.
M Salinger Mar 20
I'm sad.
And that's okay.

This heaviness in my heart
is not mine alone,
I carry it for my mother
and my father
and his mother

I carry it for her husband

who quickly became
the demon
sleeping in the
shadows
that then became
a
stain
who's faint edges
still linger.

Deep and bruised
like my heart
after that day
confused and
oh, so green

I was already shedding
my innocence,
but you stole
hers

in one moment.

And for this
she
starves
herself

of unadulterated
joy

her body,
something she feels
shame
about

all because you thought
every
body
was your
toy
to be played
with.
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