While the ocean unfolds
calm as still waters
I’m just another lost soul
floating helplessly with no colors

I’ll go where the tide told me to
because there’s no hope left in me
And everything looked so pointless
so why bother to fight for them

I’ve been screaming, yearning, longing for answers,
for a glimmer of hope
But every time I try harder,
the world brings me down
And here I am

But as the night went by,
and the stars fell down
The sun emerged,
and the warmth grew closer
The morning breeze greets me,
welcoming for a new start
Maybe I don’t have all the answers now
but that doesn’t mean I should settle down
And I may be floating
but i’m discovering the whole sea

shirtless screaming through
the heartland and I used
to smoke cigarettes
too.

she never wanted
to stay: the youth
she had
left demanded it.
now, I'll wager
she's somewhere
in an apartment with
some dandy that
wears sweater vests
to Thanksgiving dinner.

maybe she thinks
about me and my little
twisted heart every
now and again:
like when she's away
from the sweater vest
on the toilet
behind a locked door,
"be right out, babe!"
or toting groceries
through a parking lot
to her car,
or signaling a
left turn before
changing her mind
and deciding to
go straight instead.

and
maybe I need to
stop thinking
about her
especially after
three years
incommunicado

but what can I say?
I've never slept on
a bed of nails
I couldn't
dream on.

this is me
screaming into
the void
a whisper
i am deserving and worthy of love

this is me
constructing pieces
of boundaries
i can't put up yet

this is me
speaking words
that are not lies

this is me
preparing for the worst

this is self-preservation

Do you know what it's like
Not knowing what's fake
And what's real
Sitting all alone in a dark room
Shaking
Having creatures tear open your skin
Yet not having a mark on you
Hearing voices screaming
Pounding on the walls
Yet being in complete and utter silence
No you don't
So shut the **** up

I have this darkness
Creeping up inside of me
One day it will reach my neck
Stopping the air flow
Silencing my screams
And I'll fall to the floor
Choking, gasping for air
But no one will hear

Sometimes love and hate are hard to differentiate.
They both give me sensory overload,
Even when there is nothing to
touch
When there is nothing to
Hear.
Silence can turn into screaming when I think about you.
I am bound to go deaf.

They say things change.
And that's absolutely true.
Money. Entertainment.
Clothes and shoes.
But the thing is, none of that matters
Unless people change.
The same people are still screamin,
Still fighting for the same reasons.
We've built a world where words
Have as much power as angels
And demons.
I'll be the first to admit. I have no idea where to start.
But we need to change now
Before we drift even further apart.