I'm trying not to ruin this for myself
So I scream on the inside
While I'm composed on the outside.

Maybe they won't leave this time
If I let the bugs crawl out from the back of my eyes.

Throughout the night
You ripped the comforter from me
Your memories tore me away from sleep

While I sleep
I remember how you pulled me
by my ankles as I kick and scream
The look on your face is
Something I will never unsee

I awake breathing heavily
I could have sworn you were here
He grabs my hand
“You were just having a nightmare”

Silent ringing
The screeches of dark
They pierce the mind
Shatter the sleep
Alone in thought
Only the screams emerge
They rattle and shake
Until all words dissolve
Standing alone
Waiting for sound
Nothing is left
Engulfed by the ground

Bleach my heart,
my eyes and my mouth.
Strangle love out of me
till I scream and shout.
Let my skin turn red,
purple and blue.
Feed me till I drop dead
with an apple from Peru.
Scream at me, scream!
Let there be steam
coming out of your ears
to awaken my fears.
Hold me tight and whisper
till your lips gets blisters.
Beat me ******
roar loud.
Show me that your proud
of the hot heavy tears
that stream down my face.
They are just for you
and don't bring me a tissue.

Get a job,
a husband or wife.
Make yourself comfortable
in your own life.
So they tell me
or would have told me
if they were still alive.
But they are dying slowly
by the magic pills.
They are no longer there
to protect and care.
I no longer have devils
that whisper and scream.
They can do both
but now they are doing non.
And I can see myself having fun,
not caring or staring
into nothingness.
Yet it leaves me in mourning
to know they are about to die.
Maybe if I hold on a little longer
I won't be lonely and then find myself
a job, husband or wife.

Dark eyes, like a river of black and the smallest white reflections, cannot be seen
Why do I find myself there, in your cold eyes, where it's barren and I find myself lost in between
All those bright colors you're missing, I feel bad that you cannot see anything besides black and white
I'm sure that someone told you that seeing those two colors only is alright

Even in your dark eyes, I'm sure I can find a brighter color, I swear
I love to get lost in those fragile doe eyes, but it's more than just cold there
Your dark eyes scream for more than just help, they scream save me
Each time I try to though, I drift farther and farther out to sea