I don't sleep anymore
Some say insomnia
I say it's the monsters under my bed
No it's all in my head
So real
I see her
Standing in the corner of my room
With dripping wet hair
And empty grey eyes
Staring and smiling
I see him
A ball of static with a wide toothed grin
Every time i close my eyes
There is no escape
My nightmares have bled into reality and i cant get them to go back
Maybe if i swallow these pills
It'll make them go away
Maybe if i take a few more
they'll stop their whispers
Maybe just a few more
And i finally fall into absolute darkness
Somewhere their whispers can't reach me

She is "The Monarch" of her own little world
Makeup applied and drowning in pearls
She walks down the halls of a house long abandoned
Regret stays beside her, her only companion
Memories play out like an opera before her
She went for the gold but ended up poorer
One foot is forced in front of the other
Each step an echo of lost sisters and brothers
To protect what matters a wall must be built
Brick upon brick, fear stacked with guilt
Exit the house, exit the dream
Enter a reality of conflicting schemes
Lucky for her she's loaded with downers
Schizophrenics grab both above and below counters
Trembling fingers clutch at the rim
Of a toilet containing this girl's ****** sin
She drowns her pain in colors of joy
Pinks, yellows, purples, to her mouth they deploy
These soldiers are saviors, without them she's dead
It's getting more common, the scream in her head
She tried to fight back but her will was too frail
The going got tough and everyone bailed
But what happens to the general that loses an army
"Perhaps ask the girl that's apparently self harming
For she is a veteran of wars never won
Invisible scars from invisible guns"
Call for a truce, wave the white flag
Nobody sees that the Queen's wearing rags
Somebody save her because God is long gone
She may not be breathing, flame extinguished come dawn
Her enemies draw near, they sense she's grown tired
Dragged not just through mud but also through briars
She can't ask for help with a lock on her lips
Ropes around ankles and chains around wrists
In a life filled with ultimatums, lies and distrust
Ashes are more than just ashes, dust more than just dust
The air becomes pain, each inhale near torture
Her Highness doesn't chase the things that can scorch her
So back into the dream, back into the house
Never the lion but always the mouse
Clean up the pearls and apply more concealer
Confirm the next order with the local drug dealer
A wilted rose with all its petals furled
I am "The Monarch," this is my world.

You think you are the sun divine
I look at you and you multiply
I’m hungry but I can’t eat
Give me those eyes will you

My best friend, I was so afraid
Lay beside you, your body like a warm sandy beach
My body like washed up **** trying to get free

I was looking for salvation in the rock pools
Little snails and ***** would cling and pick at me
Til I finally gave in
You turned me evergreen

How long til the moon pulls you away
Leaves me to rest again, dehydrates me into a skeleton serene
How long til your silky arms stretch out again
And tickle me into an object of a lust, desires obscene

I feel you close
Like echoes in a tunnel seeming to whisper in your ear
But you’ve a long way yet to grow
And know just what this strange **** craves

It isn’t simple as giving orders, or showering me with delight
The heart of the matter lies in the murky deep,
The root causes the illness I wear from head to feet

Dissolve me in heavy salt and weightless oil
Purify me on mountaneous rock
Shake me in the willows endless, indifferent sorrow
Throw me away to make sure I’m for keeps

And maybe then after years of struggle
Summers burnt and winters melted,
I will still play my vengeful game and give you eyes that say
“I’m better, you will never win.”

Losing grip of reality, I don’t know what’s next to me, losing touch with the world
The one I’m in that slowly flaked till fall, and I was the one who thought not of at all, but a string around the pieces,
I’ll say we tried but didn’t push, when we did we didn’t force it, when we did we fell nauseous, when we did we heard noises
Same drowned down sound of made up people around.. at least they’re not me.. said she
At least my self would never say, what she wanted to say, she wanted to burn
Darling wanted to wait her turn.. but turns donnot exist when all you need is a match and a box lies in your top drawer, your pocket, you’re a liar
When you say you wait for that heat
But let the water darling drowns in stays cool and cold getting colder around her
At least.