Do you know what its like,
to try breathing
after a child-hood suffering
blood as I would wake up
from the strangulation?
Its hard for me
to see humanity understanding
as wars feud to further suffering
leading to the agony and death.

I had dreams burst like confetti
but not in any good simple way
My soul's been swallowed like spaghetti
and there's a number on rest of my days.

I see the inhumanity and depravation
that weighs upon my own conscious
I've said some very terrible things,
I deserve to be a cease to being.

I wish I had a family,
a wife and two little ones
But I was born to be desolate
Unable to count up the sums.

I wish I paid attention
to the lessons at my school,
but the attacks of attrition
only made me the class fool

I wish I knew how to live,
and surface up to breathe
but the sharks keep gnawing
away at my paddling feet.

I wish I could run to you,
and find comfort in your arms
but I made a deal with the devil
and my voice has now been disarmed.

When you’re a beggar,
You take what you can get,
Even if it’s moldy,
Corrosive,
Acidic,
Or rotten,
You take it.
Cause you don’t know,
When your next meal is,
Could be a week,
Or a month,
You just pray that this slop,
Holds you over.

When you’re a beggar,
You can waltz around the town,
Find a place to settle down,
With your broken tin can.
You sit on the corners of the blocks,
Trying your hardest to cause,
Someone to notice your cause.
You’ll find,
People spend a lot of time,
In their own minds,
Meanwhile, you’re starving,
And running out of time.
When you’re a beggar,
And someone reaches out their hand,
You take it,
Even if they throw you to the ground,
You take it.
At least they paid attention,
Even with their misguided intentions,
All you wanted was attention,
So you take it.

When you’re a beggar,
And you see strangers in love,
You wonder,
How that feels,
And if,
Someone,
Could love someone like you.
You walk,
With your fragile shoes,
To the park,
Imagining the blues,
As the sun,
Fades away to many hues.
And you sit,
Underneath your bench,
Your friend,
And you wonder why,
This is your life.
The birds,
Sing their songs to cheer you up,
And at night the crickets do the same,
They just want to see your smile.

When you’re a beggar,
You know people can lie,
And they do it all the time,
To your face,
Or behind,
Your back.
Everyone hides their true intentions,
Behind a mask.

When you’re a beggar,
You’re not the best judge of character,
Your desperation blinds your sight.
Once you’re noticed,
By a person,
You grab on,
And don’t let go.
They may ignore you,
Defame you,
Bully you,
Torture you,
But you stay loyal.
You don’t want to be the villain of the story,
To the person who noticed you were there,
So you stay by their side,
Even when they don’t deserve your care.
How their words can sting.

When you’re a beggar,
Living in your cardboard box,
Inside you’ll bubble,
Where you’d like to remain,
Untouched.
But your body,
Fights against you,
Knowing,
You need someone,
To notice,
That you’re suffering.
You fight every morn,
A battle filled with scorn,
Mostly toward,
Yourself.

When you’re a beggar,
You know you’re at the bottom,
Never stopping,
Your plummet,
To the cold, hard ground.
You pray that someone sees you,
And will reach out their hand to catch you,
Yet you keep falling faster,
With no end in sight.
It’s hard to keep the guise up,
That you are doing fine, but,
You play,
Your role,
Cause life’s a stage.
When you’re a beggar,
Sometimes you just feel down,
You don’t know how,
To stop it,
So you wait.
You know,
Sometimes, it’s okay,
To cry,
So you wait,
And let it out.
Yet others,
Seem determined,
To break you down,
They see you’re broken,
So why not break you more?
I get sick and tired of,
People telling others,
How to live,
Like they know what they’re doing,
They’re lying.
Life can be pulled out from under you,
Just like a carpet,
No one’s a pro at living life,
We just take it a day at a time.

When you’re a beggar,
Sometimes you wonder,
If your problems are noticeable,
Or not.
Then someone,
Walks to your cardboard home,
Takes your hand,
Pulls you up,
Cleans your face,
And gives you twenty bucks.
“I saw you looked sad.
I’m new to the neighborhood,
And I wanted you to know that,
I see you,
And I’m here.
Here’s another,
Twenty dollars.
Actually,
You know what?
Come with me,
Let’s go out to eat,
On me.”
It’s that the best feeling?
Yet, like the setting sun,
And the passage of time,
You blink once,
And they’re gone.
No one knows,
How it feels to be,
On the bottom,
With no ladder to climb up.
With that forty dollars,
And your stomach filled,
You decide, tonight,
To not give up.
Sometimes, I feel like a beggar,
Screaming, taunting,
For fleeting love.
So I’m waiting,
For life to work itself out
People have their goals and desires,
Would you like to know mine?
Contentment.

When you’re a beggar,
You know the greatest treasure,
That’s getting rarer,
Is simply a loyal friend…

Do I dare disturb the universe?
For fate is not in my hands, and
Life seems to be brittle, shattering before my eyes
A thousand fault lines running through
My mind, cracked from thoughts that flood
I’m in deep waters where air cannot reach me
I can’t find the surface.

Do I dare disturb the universe?
Overthink every choice, a butterfly effect,
A hurricane rippling through my inner world
Unraveling the tapestry of my future,
Warping every possibility -
No, I do not dare.

the light above the stove
looks dimmer
without you.

A final bullet in my head,
mud that's sworn the tread
They wish me to join the dead
to be the number in color red.

I never wish their execution
was none of a Crucifixion
and that their deliration
is of a bond of exhilaration

But its simple in a flight
demons roam the nights,
angels in the mornings.
Angels rough deals with rights

Yes, I join the true Lucifer
As God now struggles
and he's of Noah Ark
and God is mankind's shark

While Lucifer was born
the most beautiful angel
He wanted God to see mankind
Experience gifts  God created

Time keeps on ticking
Memories are sticking
To our minds like glue
Were our friendships true?
Or were they just a show
Of people too scared
To tell each other no?
 
Good things we did
And the times that we sinned
Moments we were ashamed
Days we dreamed of our fame
Strangers screaming our name
But will it be on a billboard
Or etched onto a tombstone?

Only the innocent and the beautiful
Have no enemy but Time.
Eventually I will grow old
And forget how to rhyme.
Life moves on by too fast
It feels like a horrific crime
When Death steals the minutes
That could have been mine.

Since when were you told
That life doesn't have an end?
I can hear the laughter
Of death's dearest friend
Who goes by the name of Time.
It is Death with whom he dines
Devouring all the futures
Of the innocent and the beautiful
Whose destinies were dutifully kept.
Though they left behind loved ones
With hearts that eternally wept.

Last night I heard a ghost ravaging around,
It woke me up as they weren't quietest of sounds.
It was clambering through drawals of photos
of the history of all of our young poses.

It seemed determined to find the one
so it can no longer be in mourning.
But press to its heart a dear photograph
A cherished memory proven so worthy.

Was it looking for my brother,
before he committed suicide
Was it looking for my mother,
Before she died and suffered?

Or does it has a premonition
that I'm next in line for death,
I won't stop the reaper's actions,
as now I'm too tired to live.

Cut the Music, let the Nights play –
Resting my mind in the tune of Your sweet voice
Cushions and songs; the city lights Purr
Always so Curious about what happens in its
Streets – like a cat at any twitching thing
          
As I searched for the key to all her lost dreams;
Tears in their place, those Girls lost in city streets
The Room was messy, a light bulb barely flickered
In the dark nobody sees your tears, Your forced smiles
Yet, we always know that silhouette touch of a body

Sadly, curiosity seduced Me; loneliness consumed Me
Gentle perfume pulled me inside, to Sweetened eyes
My cold heart was Searching, that it sank in warm music
Under the Canopy shade of covered sheets, vowing never
To leave –