Who's in the mirror-
Staring back with wide eyes,
Green and glowing,
Magnifyed,
By the question-
Who's looking back?
You can't be real,
You're scaring me -
Like a daisy sprung full bloom in the dead of winter,
Like a tiny needle,
A splinter.
You are fear and you ate my confidence for breakfast.
I'm almost sure you won't break through and take the rest.

There’s something about a first love

They are the ones that will give you the sweet first taste of love
and all the butterflies and chills that swing along with it

The first of many that you will be vulnerable to
but the only one that will never lose your heart

I fear for a day where I will no longer feel love towards this old friend of mine
but I fear more that it will never stop

Anger and sorrow and missing the one who refuses to detach from your mind
will cause a war within yourself
and a heartbreak only you could ever know

Situations like these you may find yourself looking for a solution in places or people
that cannot fill the void forever

You may try to medicate yourself with poison
but when the high is over, the lows creep back around
and dance in your mind till you cant cope with the pressure of the rhythm they dance to.

My pillow is soaked and my lips are salty

A long hard stare in the mirror and puffy red eyes and burning hot cheeks
leave me with nothing less than hate for the one whos made me appear this way

**** love.

I was the one who took your ******* and I was the one always there
I loved you when you gave me a thousand reasons not to

I want to say no fair, but I was the one who took your *******,
and I was the one who loved and forgave you when I knew I shouldn’t have

My bad

But you see, there's something about a first love

He was never going to change
and deep down I knew that

I was stuck on the good memories
though the construction of those have came to a halt

I made myself vulnerable
and opened my heart to someone who never intended on keeping it safe.

One day, however, I will find myself freed from the madness and aching
and his image in my mind won't be so tense

And I will recover with the only medicine I ever needed,
self worth.

there are some days that I cannot fathom
the anguish another individual must feel
to openly hurt the ones he loves for attention
when we sit here (cowards)
denying our own reality to make ourselves
feel better lying down next to strangers
fading away my heartbeat ceases
until i can comprehend something other than
mistakes painted in opposition to the universe
or how i miss your touch most days
feathering blushing hues fading fast
in the sunlight these are the days
i miss you most when the memories i hold dear
pigment themselves vivid in my pastel routine
my easel is no longer in a home
my art is no longer stagnant on a wall
it is
walking
(talking)
breathing
crying right in front of me
walking away from me
in the distance now
those days i do not understand us
or what we have become
i reflect on how seasons transition flawlessly
without any form of communication
other than knowing of the passage of time
and that right now is time for change
(it is time)

I look into your eyes and can see you are for me.
You outstretched your hand and said with a smirk, “Come with me, let’s run to the end of the world”

So our hands met and run we did,
We saw the mountains of Japan,
The colors of India,
Tasted the food of Italy,
Admired the sights in Greece.

We returned back home,
Happy and content,
I looked into your soul and saw you would be my wife.
You outstretched your hand, with a twinkle in your eye and said, “Come with me, let’s run to the end of time.”

So our hands met and run we did,
Together we saw a dash of white,
We heard a baby cry,
Wrinkles grew upon our face,
But neither of us mind,
For together we grew old,
Hand in Hand,
Just where I want to be,
For I looked into your eyes and saw you were meant for me.

Now we spent our days together,
Quiet and retired,
Rocking chairs creaking slowly,
Hummingbirds zooming by.

I looked into your eyes once more and saw a glimpse of our past.
The years we spent together,
How the time has elapsed.
But I knew I made the right choice,
You were the only one for me,
And one final time you outstretched your hand and looked into my soul and said, “Come with me, let’s run to the end, for as long as I’m with you I know I will be happy and content, for you were built for me the way I was built for you.”
So I carefully stood up,
Bones creaking and complaining at the sudden stirring,
And I took your hand in mine,
And there we danced our final dance,
Reminiscent of younger days.

To me, your eyes are like the rarest gems hidden in a lost treasure chest...
To me, your voice sounds like a thousand angels peacefully humming.
To me, your body is the taj mahal...
But to you, I'm nothing at all....

how to fix
you
me
us

how to fix
your broken
promises
my broken
heart

how to fix
life
you let empty
words slip out
i was more
careful, keeping
quiet about

how to fix
everything
with a
razor blade

saved.