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nadine shane Jun 2023
i love like a mangled dog,
rummaging through the grimiest corners
for some sort of semblance
of tranquility disguised as chaos

fangs constantly bared
but ceaselessly yearning
to be a subject of someone’s affection

tell me,
how do i stop loving like this?
contorted. star-eyed. gullible.

tell me,
how do i stop being loved
with anything but love?

until then,
i’ll still wait for you by the porch
tied on a leash too close to my pulse.

i’ll keep on waiting.
(when) are you coming back?
are you coming back?
nadine shane Jul 2021
i want to make a poem
about how much i yearn for you
and for the moments and time
lost in the wind.

but the words refuse to come out;
it drags itself up to my throat and just hangs there.

it just
hangs there,
kept and caged in the crevices of my mind.

perhaps it hurts too much to write
because the pain becomes real;
and it becomes terrifying.
and now im back to where i was before
nadine shane Jul 2021
these days
feel so abundantly empty;

i have become absolutely enamored
with the way our silence lulls us to sleep;
embracing each other's warmth and company.

but, alas, such bitter fate.

now, i try to fill the void with mindless chatters
but it all remains futile.

everything hurts without you.
was this how you felt? i am rambling again, i cannot make sense of what i want to say to you
nadine shane Jul 2020
and then i saw you
again; the silence between
us became painful.
smithereens of our universe ruthlessly scattered to dust.
nadine shane Jan 2020
you are more than
just dusted "i love you's"

you are the sun,
setting down,
assuring me
of the little questions
i have within me.

you cradle the zephyr
that i carry
on my burdened shoulders
and i watch
as you let it crumble
on your deific palms
as every modicum of doubt
(hello onat, ily)
nadine shane Nov 2019
the warmth, lingering,
i could breathe for a moment
and then you left me.
it seems as though im suffocating.
nadine shane Nov 2019
the nights devoid of holiness
always seemed
to find itself tangled
with the crestfallen visage
always plastered on mine.

a close acquaintance of mine
would be the moon--

glimmering and illuminating
the regrets and mistakes
emblazoned deeply
onto every fibre of my being.

my dreaded moment has come--
the clock made itself known;
through the fragile threshold
i dared to call my home.

once more,
it made me a fool
for believing
i could be liberated
from this labyrinth.
make it stop.
nadine shane Oct 2019
our naked silence & honey kiss
were nothing to him
he will curse our empty love
with a bittersweet word

and you let it **** us.
how fickle.
nadine shane Aug 2019
would it be selfish of me
to ask for more
than sneaky glances here and there?

mouths desperate
to form sentences
to confabulate with you
but i rebel against my own body,
incorrigible mutters
bolting its way out of my lips.

would it be selfish of me
to ask for more
than an hour to spend with you?

eyebrows knitting together
in confusion
as you laugh
about matters of the heart,
looking through me
with perceptive eyes
and i try not to look away.

but fate
has a terrible affinity
for separating the two of us,

so i wish
we werent back to square one
but that would be wistful thinking.
dont leave me hanging again. how cruel of  you.
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