in a sense my innocence
has brought about some strange events
your unabashed sinfulness
my cute, careful religiousness
a surprising synthesis

in a sense, was my innocence
a recompense for your bitterness?
i sought your soul with reverence
from your tenderness, my mind undressed
a haunt old as some sacred texts

of a pure and honest impetus
our pride found a submissiveness
my naivete,
your diligence
thanks to our collective dissonance
a love made to be infamous

When I awaken
When I hear the weave
Of Egyptian cotton
Rise and fall
                       Around your torso
When you wrap yourself
                       As an Ibis
                       And offer yourself
                       We become eternal
Whilst we worship each other
                       As Pharaohs
             The sun will continue to burn

You poured your breath like warm wine onto my skin,
And it seeped into every crack I had never shown you,
Until I was wet with something older than the wine.
Your fingers like long branches of hunger, touched me like a map you had burned before,
Tracing my neck down to the valley that experienced dips of gasps.
My mind was eclipsed by something black,
Not from fear, but from the depth of falling into something darker than sleep
And deeper than prayer.
Your lips poured ancient hymns into mine and took my aches with each kiss,
Until I lost myriad pieces of myself that were never meant to be kept.
Your hands gripped the curve of my hips and lifted me,
Not as a man lifts a woman, but as a storm lifts the sea,  
I was no longer mine, but just a wave offering surrender.
When your tongue descended to the tremble of my belly,
And found the silk between my thighs, I wept into your hair.
I arched to worship the moment when
I was fully seen, fully consumed, fully remembered.
Your dark eyes looked into the center of me in a way that made my shadows blush into redness.
It was the holy fire between two sinners who forgot to ask for forgiveness.
I gasped, I trembled, I vowed as each wave took a part of me to heaven.
Finally, the room melted into sound and salt, and you breathed again on my damp skin.
I laughed in the dark as you whispered, “How can love live in the heat of such ruin?”
Because this wasn’t ruin.
It was resurrection.

Everywhere I walk I feel the shadow,
Of your sacred vessel.
Your vines stake hold,
Making room for sin in this place,
that I have so carefully crafted.

Thrashes of tongues mark the walls,
and stain the glass,
Threatening to shatter the foundation,
Of my ever wilting frame.
Standing on the invisible string,
tethered to the last shred of my humanity.

Spirals,
Where have I been?
Chains, blood, flame.

The sun marks me with reverence  
But my eyes were blind to its fire.  
I wandered through the void unnamed;  
A wraith in smoke, a soul for hire.  

I have been sightless for eons,  
The old world forgotten, cruel and bright.  
But light returned like ash to altar;  
Unshackled
from the endless night.  

Where have I been?
These patterns mark my skin;  
Chains once carved, now forged within.  
Where has the darkness gone?
I stare into impermanence  
Through spirals etched in consequence.  
When will I spiral?
Oh gods, when will I spiral?

Celestial fire —  
It bleeds through my tears,  
It scorches my name,
It brands all my fears.

It slips beyond my grasp,  
And still I wait for the return  
Of the spiral I must pass.  

Laughter cracks like ancient stone;  
A sound I've never known.
Weightless now, but bound to pain—  
Who am I, if not the flame?

Spirals… spirals…  
This time around  
I keep my eyes open  
Until the cycle takes me down  
Again…

Laughter cracks like sacred stone;
A sound I've always known, unknown.
Lightless now, yet flame remains—
A self reborn in burning chains.

It slips beyond my grasp,  
And still I wait for the return  
The spiral never truly
Passed.

Spirals… spirals…  
This time around  
I keep my eyes open  
Until the cycle takes me down  
Again…