I'm a big fish in a small pond
I dream big
I see strong
I dig deep
To find what's wrong

Bring it to the surface
Where it belongs
To be processed
and addressed;

Reclassified
To bring me closer to success.

Mummified me tight in her web,
she finds it funny
that my eyes are left open.

I shake
but I cannot listen
and I cannot scream
and she stares until
my heart is broken.

she whispers and I read her lips:
"I am fate,
and you were held firm in my clutches
ever since man has fallen.

"Lay, watch, and twitch
and remember my dear,
every breath you take is testimony
that you were chosen."

My feet are above the ground,
Like a rocket ship with nothing in the way,
I take off,
And I keep going.
I just keep going...

No longer restricted by the confounds of flesh,
By birth and by death.
I leave behind who I was, and now I’m I am.

I can not do what you do
so I sit on the sidelines and watch.
I see you dance and clap
and all I can do is scream!
Must I mention, it is not joy.
It is for a change so I can be the same.

The hands that haven't held
The legs that haven't walked
The skin that has never felt
The eyes that couldn't see
The ears that couldn't hear

I owned the mouth that never spoke,
filled with words hidden behind lips
that filled my throat
but, I couldn't speak
the last and only thing I felt
was the awful feeling
of being choked
whenever I spoke
I was creature with no energy
just like a flower with no petals
I wasn't able to bloom
I wasn't able to grow  

- Kaya

Sadly this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
She must turn cold
For over her, people just rolled

She alway knew they would
But she still did what she could
She so desperately wanted to belive
That everyone that was truly in need
Would appreciate what she did
She had the faith of a little kid
She believed there was good in most everyone
But now with all of that, she was done

There finally was that last straw
Finally a line she had to draw
This decision was agonizingly painful
After this, she didn't know what she would live for, would she be able

The pain of this was greater then all that had came before
This killing of her own soul hurt so much more
Than what any human monster had inflicted
With this her heart would truly be restricted

She took the broken pieces of her being
Ground them to dust as tears down her checks kept steaming
She knew with this final self inflicted act
There would be no coming back

There would be no more love, no hope
If not for drugs, how would she cope

With one last sigh
One last cry
She pounded what made her, her to dust
She felt no other way out, it was a must
The chain that bound her to helping others just turned to rust
It broke and fell away
She wondered why on this earth would she now stay

For with all the good she had tried to spread into this wicked place
She sincerely thought it would be returned when difficulties she faced
Only to find
No other human would act as kind

Every single person she tured to
Only replied "what can I do"
"I would help, but I must put myself first"
Her loving heart made her feel so utterly cursed

So she decided that was it
No longer with the afflicted would she sit
No longer would she put others before herself
They could all fall off the ******* shelf

This decision was not freeing
It was gonna **** her completely, her fragile soul, her being
It was gonna break the ties that held her to this life
But when she need help, no one was there to end the strife

Now this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
Now she is as cold and heartless as the rest
But look really hard, there is still the stain of tears upon her breast

Constricted
Restricted
Bound
Helpless

Four fears remaining constant