I cannot pour myself into you,
And expect to receive myself back
I cannot pour myself into you,
If you are not there anymore
I cannot pour myself into you,
And for the next 12 hours I won't
I cannot pour myself into you,
But I want to

Too much talking
Too much noise
Too much kissing
Too much touching
Too much laughing
Too much crying
Too much fighting
Too much typing
Too much calling
Too much singing

Once, the static in my brain
Aligned so perfectly with the rushing in my veins
That it became central to my consciousness.
Perceived by my ears as an ever-rising crescendo,
My heart swelled, radiating pin-****** - painfully,
Down to my fingertips.
I was immobilized by dread,
And capitulation to fear was imminent,
As I realized the presence
Of an unwelcome and terminal essence;
It was striving for control, unwilling to settle for less.
I at first tried to fight- but the hold was too strong;
My limbs were too weak to fend for myself,
My mind too frantic to offer help -
So I accommodated instead, and ever since.

Is this how love is smothered?
I am misunderstood
We go at war with each other
Will we lose fight for good?
Again hear bombs exploding
And again smoke fills air
Emotions been eroding
Battle isn't fair
How many times have surrendered
Slipping away from the past
Pulling from the image rendered
Drifting from touch too fast
Everyone moving forward
Can't find strength to lift my feet
Where I am stay not speaking a word
We make-up
Incomplete
Never afraid to say how you feel
You don't like it reinvent
Feelings are not meant to be sealed
Here if you need to vent
Energy gathered great and wide
Horizon bright where we stand
The new storm starts brewing inside
Working it's way through the land
Deep colors found above in the vast sky
Shades compressed into one
Emanating a beam from up high
Outlines traced with sun
Life came warming bodies slow
Electricity poured through our veins
Muscles rested to properly grow
Took eons just for force to regain
And heart discovered independence
Still yearned for what we had before
Longing I felt restless and tense
You didn't need me anymore

I’m rocking back and forth against the hull of my loneliness,
Stuck in knowing it’s goodbye
But not being able to say I love you
or I’m sorry.
I’m crying with joy and longing as I lie in the love and conversation around me,
Wishing it were mine.
I’ve been high so long my heart rate stopped going down with the sun.
Going over it all all over again all the time.
I feel like a child again, terrified by the the dark, the wind, the eyes of men.
I’m breaking down in the line at the gas station.
Looking out the glass wall at a Lovecraftian highway,
Flickering florescent lights like the ones from The Exorcist.
On my way to a cavernous husk of a family dinner,
Most of them gone now.
Just me, my mother, and my widowed, bereaved, great aunt.
There’s a stupid old cardboard cutout of a mascot next to me grinning too widely, holding up its product.
I scream and tear it’s head off it’s body
In my mind.
I have work on Monday.
This is life.

Quick, since home
Peeps in view
The oscillations
Become familiar
The feeling
Of conclusion
Fills the body

I am watching
The rear view eyes
Deep in scrutiny
The poor sky shuffles
Its feet, cloaks
Itself

Swift tides move
And the laces of the road
Move with them
I fidget on my seat
Hear the violent music
Rise behind us

Quick, now, the storm
Is on its way
Soon, the world
Will start its run
Trees are looming
Already, and
The door to home
***** like a wing

Stop, now, stop and
Rush through
Bar the windows,
Blind them, shake
The fireplace awake
And, little fly, bake
Your biscuits and read
Your books, till the edge
Of day breaks
And clever dust
Lulls you to sleep

Quick, quick, quick.

But the rear-view eyes
Leap upon me
Precise as leapords,
Prying, plying
With sharp disquiet
Cold rain tusks
And I speed
Reckless forward.

Heartbreak
is essential
for the breakthrough.

Not spirit-break.
You can’t break
my spirit.

Can you feel it?
My restless soul
running wild?

You can’t break me.
Don’t try.
I’m not meant to be broken.