They say everybody's bound to play the fool but I'm always the biggest in the room, a typecasted tool
A hopeless romantic who'll ignore the red flags and shrug 'em off, just act cool
Just to avoid numerous rejections like in the cesspool that was high school
But the pain of a lie is far more cruel, every one adds fuel and makes me feel minuscule, I'm weak, that's your que

Here's your chance to tie the knot and kick the chair, I'll pretend there's no one there
No one will see, you'll be free from me, freed of the need to care
So look at that there, all laid out, replace the smile with a pout and mess your hair
Give it one or two weeks after sorrow peeks then you can drop the act live on air

My soul will forever dangle here from the beam of my despair, a carcass chandelier
I want to cry out but the rope...well let's just say my throat is beyond repair
Seems that even in death I'm a forgotten chapter or just briefly skimmed over
Come to think of it, my body they have yet to discover, both in life and death I'm shown I don't really matter

I knew this life wasn't going to turn out well for me. How you ask? I listen carefully and obsessively study my history
You want a piece of me? I won't put up a fight, you can take it all, go ahead and feast on me
Just have the decency to finish me off completely and stack my remains neatly so I become part of the scenery
And be a reminder of your victory, you defeated me, who knew a broken heart could actually **** somebody...
****

©2021

My greatest love just wasn't mine
her heart was somewhere else
I wanted her so ******* bad
but she chose someone else
she was my strength, my confidence
she had my complete trust
she was my love, my everything
my most passionate lust
I gave her my heart and soul
I gave all I could give
now broken and beyond repair
I've lost my will to live
I wanted her so ******* bad
she wanted something else
my greatest love just wasn't mine
as she chose someone else

suicide
I've thought about it.
we all have in different ways
some of us wonder why
some of us wonder if we should
some of us attempt and some of us do
suicide
am I really the selfish one?
I just want this ******* pain and loneliness to end?
maybe you're selfish because you want me to go on so YOU don't have to feel the pain
suicide
how often do you call your friends and loved ones? do they call you?
you can have friends and feel alone if you're the one who's always reaching out. maybe they'd call if they really knew. maybe they'd ignore you cause your sadness makes them uncomfortable.
suicide
it sure can look tempting when you feel all alone,
unwanted
undesireable
like you don't belong and never will
suicide
maybe if we reached out more, tried to understand instead of shaming, ignoring or invalidating pain and struggles
maybe we could prevent
suicide

Will he buy you chocolates?
Will he buy you flowers?
Will he put your pleasure first
and worship you for hours?
Will he listen patiently?
And will he understand?
Will he still be there for you
when things get out of hand?
Will he be your everything?
Will he be your best friend?
When you're not feeling yourself
will he comprehend?
Will you be his Goddess?
Will you be his Queenie?
Will he write you love letters
and spicy poetry?
Will he let you vent to him?
Will he be there for you?
Will he always treat you right,
will he always love you?
Will he buy you chocolates?
Will he bring you bouquets?
Will he take good care of you
every single day?

Being with you makes me feel stupidly in love.
                                  Being with you put a stupid smile on my face.

When you don't show,
                   I feel so stupid,
                                                                        for being so crazy about you!