Sleepless nights
moon beams loveless
empty ache within
lost im realms unseen

Softly it kills
swiftly it finishes
consistent and nightly
sweet dreams diminishes

Clouds of shadows
hide the sparkle in my eyes
dilated pupils in the dark
silently eaten apart

Admired but unaccepted
too much yet never enough
wanted but unworthy
embraced yet soon given up

No rest and no restlessness
breathing the darkness numb
these are my consequences
my scars, my secret wars

Sleepless beauty
damsel in distress
bound upon a tower
my heart and I
both longing for slumber

all the blood and tears that I wasted all this years
come from the pain and hurt, that I continue to fear
I'm left alone, left behind from anything possible
I'm not disrespectful nor irresponsible
so why was I lonely most the time
I did nothing more then just a couple crimes
I'm different, I know that for a fact
doesn't mean I have to get attacked
I dream and cry just like all the rest
I don't want to keep getting treated like I'm a lab rat test
I don't blend in with the colors of the walls
why is it that I never get invited to go the mall?
why is it that I don't get asked if I'm alright?
why I'm the person they always want to fight?
I must be a figure that looks like it needs to get beat
might as well throw me in a lions den, since I'm just a piece of meat
it's hurtful and sad that I get told to die
that the only friends I have aren't humans but flies
I'm not the best looking guy in world, I get that
doesn't mean you have to bash my skull with a bat....

5 steps to walk out of the room.
23 steps to make it to the front door.
2 steps to be one with the wind.
1 step to follow a dream.

5 times you fell.
23 times you didn't believe.
2 times you almost did.
1 time you gave up.

5 ways to handle this.
23 ways to make an excuse.
2 times to get rejected.
1 time to put it to sleep

31 roads and excuses to no where

You say you got tricks.....
I'm waiting, I don't see anything special...
are they in your hat, or your magical bag...OH WAIT
the tricks are up your sleeve...
...BOY PLEASE... you don't really think I believe???
Wave you magic wand a couple more times
don't forget your rhymes
for magic words...
abracadabra maybe a lil' hocus pocus
What about supercalifragilisticepialidotions....****!!
hmmmm... OH NOTHING------
because you're full of **** & really, really bad lies
Oh my, my I WAS right surprise, surprise
The ball was never in your court, not a little....
not at all
You are not a royal court jester, you have no jokes
Tried to fool me, you can't, not with any of your tries
So guess what sucka, jokes on you
Rejected & through with it all
stop trying, there's no crying in this game
& don't point fingers at me, it's yourself you need to blame
I caught you up, like a private detective, some Veronica Mars skills
Be glad I'm not on a mission like either one of the **** Bills
Did you get the picture,
is it clear yet?
Probably not since you don't know how to use your mind
I'll leave you to ponder
Word of advice though so you won't be pondering forever, the answer isn't easy to see...
because there's nothing to see
If you don't get it still,
It depends on how  you feel & with rejection how well you deal
If you don't believe what I tell you now, maybe in 20 more years when you're still alone, you can see I was being real
I guess for now just fix your magical talent
more practice is required, since talent is lack thereof
good thing this wasn't a beauty pageant
surely you would've lost the talent portion, as well as overall beauty
enough with all of this mess
& your brain still trying to process
I'm NOT interested, not now & I wasn't then either
this is called rejection, my feelings won't change
I bet you're still confused like Alice in Wonderland
....I guess you'll just never understand
but I'll always have the upper hand.

"Sorry, Austin...not for us...Best with it."**

"Four Verses of Inexpressive Groaning,
and 15 Ughs to be Sung in Beethoven's 9th. "

Ughghghgh.
Ughyughghg.
Eighghghgugh.
Myeeeghghg?

Eeehghghg...­
Myegghghugh.
Ghghghghg.
Huhhghghg?

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
Shrug- eh?
Uhhhmmm...
Eghghghghg....

Myughghghg...
grughghghg.
Gaaah...­?
Blughghg.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Hello Stranger
You're so beautiful
I want to smile at you
just as a friendly human to another
But I lose my chance
as you look at me,
in condescension.
Then through me
as if I'm not there,
as if you don't care.
True, why should you
but it hurts me so
To feel rejected
dejected
I turn away
alone
towards my solitude
My sole companion in life
and fail to notice
that you're hurt too
The broken pieces of your soul
form the aura around you
and all you needed from this world
was just a smile.