sly masked marauder
recklessly raucous raccoon
~ the final frontier






Mark Toney © 2021

I have a crush on death
And it's growing every day

                 I grab the bottle

Maybe its time to slip away
Into the darkness
Let the pain swallow me up

                 I take off the top

My thoughts would slow and
Soften to a hum

                 I reach for the rope

My eyes would close for the last time
I never have to see myself again

                  I tie the noose

How wonderful it would be
To never have another thought
To never hear my voice again
To finally make it stop

                  I revise my note
  . .
   . .
    . .

But
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude reality

                  I put the bottle away
                  I untie the rope
                  I place the note with the others

        Take a deep breath and
        Keep these moments to myself

we had a risky kind of love

a young kind of love

a reckless kind of love

a “we don’t know where we’re going
but get in my passenger seat
and we’ll know when we get there”
kind of love

a skinny dipping

crazy adventures

endless road trips
kind of love

a “there’s so much to do.
but touch me and just for tonight,
let’s forget about everything else”
kind of love

a smoke clouds

red eyes

breathe me in
and hold me there
kind of love

a “the world is scary
but hold onto my hand
and you’ll be fine”
kind of love

a late night drives

flushed cheeks

“shut up and kiss me”
kind of love

we had a risky kind of love
but *******
it was so worth the risk

why would you smoke a cigarette
but leave half of it dropped onto the sidewalk?

“our cigarette butts leave signs,”
you told me,
“I threw it there to
let others know that
I can control my bad habits.”

this is who you are.
you’re the type of person
who leaves cigarette butts on concrete
to scream “I was here.”

you’re the type of person
who purposefully lives an unfinished life
for the world to wonder
what you would’ve done
if you had more time.

this was the same way you left me.
halfway through our dreams and goals,
only to find out that I loved you
wholeheartedly, obsessively, and recklessly,
while you walked away
with a mouthful of tobacco smoke
and halfway love.

A deep breath in
Let my world collapse
And rebuild on its own

Tear down those walls
By the bricks that I laid down
Tear down those walls
With the light of her world

It was perfectly reckless
The way you left me defenseless
You broke me in
Then let me down

A deep breath in
And the world is spinning around into the atmosphere

How can these words hold so much weight?
It was perfectly reckless
The way you left me defenseless

You took my hand and promised me the world. Like childish intentions you let
Me fall and I'm swimming among the ashes..

A deep breath in
Let my world collapse
And rebuild on its own

𝕃𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕤𝕖
𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕨𝕟

𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤
𝔹𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟
𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤
𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕

𝕀𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕜𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤
𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕖𝕗𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕕𝕖𝕗𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤
𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕚𝕟
𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟

𝔸 𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 𝕚𝕟
𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕥𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖

ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕤𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕨𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥?
𝕀𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕜𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤
𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕖𝕗𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕕𝕖𝕗𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕞𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕. 𝕃𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕙 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕖𝕥
𝕄𝕖 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀'𝕞 𝕤𝕨𝕚𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕞𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕤..

𝔸 𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 𝕚𝕟
𝕃𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕤𝕖
𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕨𝕟

You are not the pages of a book, though you breathed them. If you were, upon closing, we would no longer experience you. You are a never-ending poem, the graceful break of a reckless wave. You are a perfection that loves--a perfection that we don't have to tire ourselves striving for.  You tell us to be still, knowing that you are God.  Your love is three dimensional but it only requires one to accept it.  And yet, it confounds us because You are simple goodness and we are the product of overthinking.

I caught you in a lie
Told me you’re not into the party life
But I saw you doing drugs & getting high.
Standing in my face
Playing cool, giving multiple denies.

Evidence is right here,
Your actions walk like how you talk.
Must’ve bumped your head to many times coming home late, hearing you fall.
You free now,
Go do whatever you want
I’m not trippin’ at all.
Before you leave this house,
I’ll make sure that you’re blocked.
Don’t run back months later
Giving me that sweet “baby talk”

Thought you would go unnoticed, taking chances
Thinking you were special but you’re just basic
Out late in the streets getting faded
Should’ve been careful vs. reckless