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c May 2019
1.  I lie when I say I Love You

1b. Maybe it’s because I’m a compulsive liar or maybe it’s because I add a big DON’T in the middle, but either way, I lied

2. you are a dying star folding in on itself and I cannot support the cold dead core you're going to leave behind

3. your tongue tastes like espresso and caffeine makes my heart beat way too fast

4. you say "maybe" too much and act like its a promise waiting to be broken

5. I am SO GOOD at loosing sleep! Over you! Because of you!

6. you have never cried in front of me

7. you have really good music taste and I don't want my favorite playlist to ruin me when you leave

8. I once read that indecision is the present form of regret. you can't make up your mind and I'm starting to think that's a sign

9. you drink to get drunk and I drink what tastes good. now my throat is burning and I’m not sure if it’s from the words stuck inside it or the whiskey in your kiss.

10.
adira Apr 2019
I wish I could remember
I really wish I could
The dreams I had
The friends I've lost
A reason to care
I am just a child
floating in an empty sea  
Not a care in the world
trying to remember
what I have long forgotten
Jay M Apr 2019
Pacing back and forth
Worrying what you think
Of your little girl
But the truth is
I'm not that little anymore

13, going on 14
Weeks away
I promise you
I won't take myself away

Even though I want to
So badly
I'll stick around
A bit longer
I'll fight
For the sake of fighting
Not for me
But for everybody
So let me be...

LET ME BE!

Crying my eyes out
Screaming the cry of the lonely;
"Leave me alone!"
But that
Is another way of saying;
"Show me that you care enough to stay with me.."

Take my hand
Lift me up
Where the demons can't get me
Hiding in the marrow of my bones

I'm holding on..
I'm right here...
But what does that matter
When they only see you
When you mess up?

More reasons to leave
Than to stay
Just give me a reason.
One good reason why I should listen
To the "good things" about me?

I am a tainted soul
A demon in the skin of a child
Wanting so badly for things to be okay
Better than just "okay"
To be happy...

But how
When everything around you
Leaves you,
Dies,
Hates you,
Despises you,
Doesn't know your name
But you know so much about them?

There is no good reason
Not for me
But for some reason
A purpose I have yet to classify
I remain.

I will
For as long as it takes
Until I've finally given up
Reached my breaking point
The last breaking point
When, finally,
I have no will at all
All is empty
Not a false reason
Nothing
Void of all humanity
To the point where I am but a corpse
A shell of a person I used to know well...

- Jay M
April 25th, 2019
Well, I'm sticking around...
Nat Lipstadt Apr 2019
~~~

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.”  Henri Bergson


well in that case,
I’m either the most immature teen here,
or Rip Van Winkle

the re-creation process is six, nearly seven,
decades long (you thot days, ha, no way),
can’t recall the last name
I called myself

the delving, the researching, the forgetting,
the fifty first dates of no short term memory,
the checkdown, throwback Thursday of
did I write that?

no recollect, the pretense of
prehensile strength to touch
you and me simultaneously
might, could be true,
if you claim I authored it,
ok with me and all that

life taught me this,
the one who oft  hangs around
very young kids
learns a lot,
and soon recognizes

maturity indeed endless
but not senseless
just a poem-of-the-day process

indeed

every sense says the minute difference
between this morning and this approaching midnight,
an opportunity to grow up, stand straighter, uprighter,
write down my failures one more time,
cause that is the sterling hallmark impressed upon
thyself, ourselves,
that is genuine maturity,
the courageous wisdom to start all over again

the clock has transgressed,
moving past
the 12:00am digits,
which for cause
makes me giddy,
it’s permission to write a new one,
of course,
maturely thinking I still got one within,
a newbie, an aged day-old brand new baby,
a poem,
of course

god bless, I’m all grown n’ growled up,
with wisdom to know I don’t got nada,
but own the immature youthful courage of maturity,
to keep on trying, endlessly,
being your obedient-servant
~~~

p.s. this is kind of love poem of thanksgivings,
a love poem with no misgivings,
a thank you for the fragments of sharing -
hold so dear,
the best reason to mature,
the best reason to change,
the best reason to write
right now, here comes the mojo
my newest oldest friend,
reminding for the last and first time

that I’m all growed,
using the bigliest words I’ve known
to say baby, hey baby,
good night good morning
write us a poem,
a thank you note,
from one who blessedly forgets his name,
day in and year out


For that guy,
you, that ancient kid,
That poet-in-retrograde

so rewrite the title, a refresh,
are you immature enough to write?

1:12am

~for the crew~
Wordsmith Apr 2019
And if stories are what our lives are
To live is to dance to the narrator’s tune

Some stories go hand in hand
Some stories go thither in pursuit of another

Sometimes we narrate our chapters
Sometimes our chapters narrate themselves

In stories we seek reason
In reason we seek conclusion

But if the narrator’s narration does not make sense
The actors cope thru a different lens
Perspective is everything.
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
Another dark day I half-heartedly chase
I run and run but I’m stuck in place
I am starting to wonder if it’s all a waste
I am just a body taking up space
What is my purpose? What am am I doing here?
Would the world be bettered if I disappeared?
Time is racing but I do not care
I am squandering every single breath of air
I ask myself the same pressing question
“Why’s it so hard to change?” Again and again
I guess I am lacking the strength I need
To rise, and despite adversity, succeed
Countless times I have tried to switch my ways
I somehow always find myself back in the maze
Forever getting the best of me
Too late when I finally see
And at that point I am within it so deep
The harvest planted in haste I now have to reap
Although it is a bountiful crop
The yield is spoiled with posion and rot
Stalks grow taller, trapping me inside,
Sprouted from seeds of all I failed to hide
Foliage so thick I cannot see the sun
Blocking not only light, but everything and everyone,
Almost ready to give up and say I am done
Call it quits even though my life has barely begun
Yet on I continue, although reason there is none,
I doubt I’ll ever reach the exit, but still, I run...
I am mucho proud of this one guys!!! Thanks for reading!
Ken Pepiton Apr 2019
April 10, 2019

Come a day, reason peeks around the corner,
Wisdom spots the whole idea,
nothing hidden around
the edge,
she winks back.

The story is there
was this kid,

he has these uni-
que memories
odd
memes,
or easers of toils,
heartfelt
reward for sweated blood

proverbial guiding
memories
resting easy in the shadows

he sends songs soaring
some when
Dams break, knowns burst
thru bubbles in jeopardy
new f-izzy izy knots
loose the lowest layer of liege
let go
loosen
free. all for allegiance,
reciprocal give and take with no control
given to any lacking self
controlership

idle words redeemed by chance
take up the dance,
least friction
desidare
aitia
gentle
ease of flow, over under, around
, through, if it comes to that,

any which way ye find,
wind way,
Pollen Way,
River way, rolling
rocky mountain way

it was noised abroad, in the hill country.
We all knew.

Reason come with me,
we have heard we must war

some more,
we are feeling
fused with metal minded

souls set to unleash some
monster idea thing-ysdril-
whoops cyd-drethal
con-tributary
mythic
influence,
twist ing side
ways to es
scape the scoffer
from the
Welsh brig… abrupt

scene shift
like a real life movie

encrypted Welsh wonder words

the professors called thunderwords and
allowed only those umlauted
u prounouncers to speak

with proper compre
hensions,
you get that? Ubermenschken?

Controllership. that idea.
think what controllership would be,
if it were yours being weighed.

The Welsh had a word for that.
goruchwylwriaeth.

How was such a word lost?

How can we teach our kids
controllership when our nation
has no national tongue able

to roll wisdom into reasonless reality,
goruchwylwriaeth,

it's magic, if magi means much to you.

---
Ordovician rules. If I had a hammer.

Ord'vicians, hammer warriors,

hammering out justice all over this land,
as the bombs were falling,

for God's sake. Sake itself is assumed to have
meant "cause",
cause being reason, aition or aitia.
Reasonable reasonibility to
just ify now, as real.

So, since we agree,
we know right, when we taste it, or

do we take a chance on better, a bit more
than half the times?

Judge the controlership system.
What determines a good controller?

when can I assume you consider me no evil? Wordwise, id est.
assume (v.)
early 15c., "to arrogate, take upon oneself," from Latin assumere, adsumere "to take up, take to oneself, take besides, obtain in addition," from ad "to, toward, up to" (see ad-) + sumere "to take," from sub "under" (see sub-) + emere "to take," from PIE root em- "to take, distribute."
Meaning "to suppose, to take for granted without proof as the basis of argument" is first recorded 1590s; that of "to take or put on fictitiously" (an appearance, etc.) is from c. 1600. Related: Assumed; assuming. Early past participle was assumpt. In rhetorical usage, assume expresses what the assumer postulates, often as a confessed hypothesis; presume expresses what the presumer really believes. Middle English also had assumpten "to receive up into heaven" (especially of the ****** Mary), from the Latin past participle.

From <https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=assume>

(that which causes, which is not prophaseis)
If this is not enjoyable, you are wearing the wrong shoes. I found a Welsh English Dictionary from 1848, which I had forgotten. It was a gift, it came with wonder-filled unspeakable magic words, and a memoruy of the giver.
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