You say you care..
but do you really?

What ifs and some buts
Anxiety in my mind
Are you fooling me?

when I was eight, I finally learned to speak
punching holes in walls and cussing out my schoolteachers

my language consisted of violence
painting every corner with my newfound sense of artistry

kick down until it makes much sense
picture only oh so clear
as vivid as the dreams I used to see

blackened walls, mother disapproving
diatribes all telling that i made up my mind.

To understand
this solid door
You must come true
and eager for more

There is nothing to be bought
or sold
by bleeding red roses
You are not faulted
or framed
for what the moment imposes

Come to thee
With an open heart in mind
To stand and witness
The reality you've been longing to find

I promise nothing
For if you push the door it will not swing
But if you pull towards your heart
You might be surprised as to what I'll bring


My Everything

is that nothing's really real

- vm

how did i get to this point
where i cant get out of bed
my eyes look so empty
deep lifeless pits
my body aches
with the pain of being alive

i don't understand
is it chemicals in my brain
scrambled into the wrong combinations
is it something i did
if it was
i cant remember

i'm not gonna last long