Enjoy your dreams, reality is cruel enough.

Keats swooned over a world that never was, except in dreams, and I've no use for that.



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCLXIII)


In lieu of aught we know:  blue skies t'avail
Sans blot of clouds 'til puddles mirror thence
Heavn's eye...take up the chalice to drink hence
That fragrant draught which yields as if to scale
More heady visions than we've drunk, t'exhale
Like sailors on the faerie seas, pretense
Our dainty meat; as lovers swoon for sense
Oer plighted troth, not as we know; sans bail.
Go into raptures likeas Keats would stir
And Byron knew to write, as Shelley drew
Up in his Ode, faint cuz ye know in tour
What minstrels sang in ballads, weaving to
Effect those silken strands to snare souls fer
The Devil's heights.  Cuz what we have won't do.

11Mar19c

Becoming a teenager was the hardest thing I’ve accomplished.
I stopped playing with Barbie dolls, instead I tried to become one.
Thousands spent on makeup, hair, nails, and clothes.

And for what?
Because I actually believed society’s opinion of me mattered.
13 years old, waking up an hour earlier than I used to, to apply layers of makeup and hairspray on top of the person I wanted to be.
I loved the person I was until the age of 13.

There are bullies wherever you go.
There are going to be people that don’t like you, no matter what.
I wish I would’ve known that running away wasn’t the answer.

I thought being pulled out of public school would be better for me and everyone else but boy was I wrong.
Being alone all the time never made me lonely.
I was stuck inside my own head stuck with the bullies I’ve created, clones of the people I’ve come across from before.
The people who hurt me and degraded me.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar, Insomnia.
At the age of 14, I thought a noose would suit my neck better than any kind of necklace.
Pills upon pills turned into pain
Pain turned into shutting everyone out.

Being a teenager was the hardest thing I’ve ever accomplished.

I am feeling confused about what to do
This is really what I want
Both know it isn't my style
Lie or put on a front

We fight our emotions so hard
Live every day in denial
You really don't sense our love decreasing
Has been happening for awhile

We are just biding time until
Someone better comes along
Using one another for different gains
Symbiotic romance is wrong

Abusive to you at times
I cannot control my anger
You're just as abusive emotionally
My mental health in danger

Substance after substance into bodies
Distract ourselves from reality
Pain has ruined our beautiful love
All we planned we'll never be