Lungs were made for oxygen.
If anything, you could probably give
them the lack and they would still be fine
for a smal fraction of time
So when you add something new
they don't know what to do.
They freeze up and just let you be you

Did I ever tell you that I see you?
Often with my eyes closed,
Did anyone ever pass my notions to you?
How often I think about you.
I guess you didn't care enough to see through me,
It never bothered you I wish you could know.

Now mine heart so heavy to carry about,
The gift of Love given to me a burden,
Now mine thoughts fish Laughter,
Though smallest amounts I get to catch.
Maybe if this words were told,
If only you knew that for you I keep prayers long,
Well having not told you,
Is a burden enough for I to carry along,
I guess using a gun would help,
Goodbye before you know I did,

If you're reading this its too late,
Please do come at my burial,
I want you to know,
Were mine thoughts of you go with I.

I sit
Alone
With my thoughts
They swim around me
Teeth bared
Trying to bite
I struggle
But still
Slowly
By inches
Wounds appear
Rips in my mind
Tears in my eyes
This pain grows
How long must I endure
What is left for me
But the fight
The struggle
When do i quit
I stop
I succumb
To the suffering
Is it in me to give up?

No.
Stubborn old man fights.
To stop the struggle
To quit
Is to lay down and
Die.
I am not ready.

So
I sit
Alone
In the dark
With my thoughts.
This time
Will I be ready?

Never had any regrets since your last cigarette
Never a mistake that drink wouldn’t help you forget
You were ‘fun’ and you were ‘tough’ when the fuzz arrested you
The drugs well they were drugs and they did what they do

Just puff and you take and knock all back
And you huff and you joke your life way off track
It’s all about tomorrow for you; and what it can do for you
Instead of putting down childish things and seeing what you can do for you.


Now it’s bright out and all colours break the dread
You can hear and taste the screams and rows and the tears that ever came
New life hits you hard and the old feels haunts your head
Being sober and so burned only lets you know you’re nothing but ashamed

No amount of bodies would stop the haunting in your bed
It was still **** cold and still **** dark and you still can’t forget
You’re not allowed that way out too many so called tears that would be shed
So now you don’t do that? But the sky’s still blue and your bloods still red

Have another drink and heave it up and get too thin
Smoking chops up the life you want to cut in the rut that you’re in
You say you ain’t a drunk you just like to ***** for a while
Doing a-dult things don’t make you less of a child

Now it’s bright out and all colours breaks your head
You can hear and taste the screams and rows and the tears that ever came
You find comfort in the dark and fear this new light instead
Being sober and so burned only lets you know you’re nothing but ashamed

Now it’s bright out and all colours refuse to fade
Show how you love all the love these people have for you
It’s easier to imagine how it could be back in the shade
Trust they rely on you, stick it through.

But don't be a mug they don’t need you, so keep your face out the dirt
Stay sober stay quit even though it all gets through and sometimes all falls out.
Be alive and happy and hurt, instead of dead and numb, dumb and hurt.
Stick it through, stop being you.
Stick it out.

My stool is black again, I've been smoking
She said, "I thought that you quit"
I said, "I never meant-" cough "I never meant"
She said, "You said you could anytime, anytime"
But what's the worth of words spoken,
when you never meant, you never meant

To give the impression
you'd follow through
Only to sate the voice of reason in a poisonous
miasma of destructive and ambivalent
tendencies held too long and too deeply pressed

Uh oh
Cough, cough, cough, cough

. . .Cool.

Lift it to your lips
& let what falls adrift in the form of ash
dissolve in the wind
as dried bone thrashing,
bashing against dust & grit.

Pull; take a long hit.
Dregs to be kept until last in the bottom
of your broken lungs,
taken as deep as breaths:
to rattle against your teeth.

"O", takes the lewd shape
of your chapped mouth as you break free
from your caged-in chest,
skeletons left sat, to wallow
as ashen bones & yellow teeth.

Hold your knuckled joints
against tenderest flesh of your upper lip
& sniff, as if a try to void
all signs of violent backslides
to clandestine nicotine meetings.

Flick blanked eyes to lit but
dying embers ground between sole & soil,
& morosely swear never
another, not one more; after
this next one, this last one, never.