Toy with me like a ******* puppet keep pulling the strings until I'm under the mindset that I'm yours completely.
Read me like the novel that just sits gathering dust on your shelf because you don't read enough. As you tear out pages and pages for your cigarette butts, that coincidentally you got me back into.
My life's a pattern of endless cycles.
I'm happy one day and the next I'm lost because maybe I don't exactly know what to do.
I was just getting used to you.
And it honestly feels like burning for me, how you and others keep burning me on these streets in which we used to skate all night on.
We would stay up late at night waiting for the stars so we could sing our favorite rap songs in my car. Blasting music faster and faster we'd go singing and all.
Driving around because no destination for us was too far. You pushed me away and left me with a scar.
Making little stops on the way to the lonely field where you cut me deep to my gills.
Sometimes good people deal with too much that it becomes draining, was hoping to see the rainbow with us after it stopped raining.
For once I had thought I had someone to get along with, but you ended up becoming mischievous.
You called me a goon and for me that nickname just stuck and unfortunately you became bad luck.
We'd get to your place where we'd stay.
Smoking out of your little ****, then we would lay talking as night quickly turned to day.
By morning we'd rush to work knowing we couldn't sleep away our days. I was hoping for a Summer romance And we'd go out and dance, but you just never gave me the chance.
For me that was enough. Getting to know you and slowly falling harder and harder, but I couldn't take it much longer. As I started to get to know your family and friends, I just thought that would never end. Maybe just maybe if you could just see that I was happy for once and how I wished we could be.
You had me captivated with not just your looks, but your personality so rich and ever so engaging.
I cared for you and trusted you too which I normally don't often do.
It was nice going on dates and sometimes to the bars, I couldn't wait to stay up all night to see the stars.
You'd have me stay the night because we'd drink too much, you even turned out to be my crush.
It mattered that you cared even the  gentlest touch it was nice knowing someone made me feel like I mattered that much.
But then things crumpled and I felt ****** but it turned out I didn't have the luck.
After a nice movie out with my friend I saw you had hit me up I wished I wouldn't have opened up.
Do you even care or give a single ****? Maybe or maybe not.
We went from talking to nothing in a quick blink you ripped me to shreds and I had to clear my head and think. To me it seems like we did rush into this but you turned out to be mischievous.
But
It hurts because I care sometimes a little too much. And all I wanted to do was feel your touch. My friends say well you did it to yourself, but this is the embarrassment that I've felt.  
But didn't we say we had such good luck?
Where's that all go? Why am I here so awfully stuck?
You were a star that I gazed upon but it looks like those days are gone.
The beautiful northern light.
I was in great awe just by your charm, beauty, touch and sight.
You made my life feel easy and my fears vanished like the starry nights we used to share, but now I have to beware.
I guess
The timing wasn't good, but you still told me you liked me which kept my hopes high like the ground we stood.
I finally felt like I was living my life, but something  just ended up not being right.
Dreams fade they say and slowly like the cigarettes we smoke we all die, but this turned out to be a rotten night time sky.
I never thought that we would come to this but here we are, you've left me with a nasty scar.

I travel trough the heavy rain
I sit lonesome on a lonely train
I play blues
These days are grey,  these nights  are blue
my mind keeps coming back to you
I play the blues

I travel with desire
Past houses lit on fire
I play jazz
Windows lit by sundown
My train-seat old and rundown
I play jazz

Rainbow roads in colored blurr
Pretty little towns I'm sure
I play swing
Past mirror waves and open sky
My stomach tingles, wonder why I
Play swing

***** feet on ***** train
Skin so white I see my veins
I play punk
Impatient taps and flickering lights
Soon the day will turn to night
I play punk

Head in the clouds, mind at ease
Longing for the morning breeze
I play Pink Floyd
Memories hanging from branches
Passengers sharing brief glances
I play Pink Floyd

I'm coming home, I'm on my way, but I travel still...
I travel not by force... yet not by will
Music of choise as soundtrack to the silent film
beyond the windowsill

Woman at diner who knew Fugazi,
I wear all these pins
on my denim jacket
waiting for someone like you
because a t-shirt isn’t
loud enough.

Woman who knew Fugazi,
waitress at diner,
had “seen them twenty times,”
without exaggeration—

with cracking olive skin
and graying curly black
hair to her shoulders,

the light refracting off my pin
my friend bought at a record store
in Philly      reflecting her the image
of a slender, voluptuous youth
donned in fake leather
worn Levis and beat Vans

shaking her mop of jet-black curly hair
in a throng of like-minded dressed
individuals in a dingy club
          angsty Washingtonians
fleeing the Reagan Youth

mad at Capitalism
mad at Middle Class,
mad at Excess, Abuse, Malaise—
driven by the furious punk rhythms
of sweat-drenched Fugazi.

Woman who knew Fugazi,
friends with Ian MacKaye,
hadn’t seen him in years—

waitress at restaurant
where the scrambled eggs are dry
and the coffee is stale.

Waitress at diner,
Mother now,
wife, adult,

                 [[punk]]
at heart.

There is a group of us that like hip hop too
we smoke ****
we play blackjack
and laugh
really we're just like you.

Sorry if we are misleading,
because Rosie did say that we look just like punks
but I had my twisted mind set on being unconventional
and I didn't mean to startle you
but it's just the way I am.

Memories are on replay of listening to our favourite jams
and you asked in the morning if I wanted jam on my toast
but I just asked you to pass me the doobie -
oh, and I'll have a cuppa please
that would be a nice combination.

We had bloodshot eyes after a wild night out
I think we stayed up for two days,
and although my head was half shaved
we were just like you.

Our cliques could have mixed because really
we are all the same.

not a reason more to die
I've always hated my good-byes

never really ever learned to cry
now i am but all so bled out


[and I don't know what to do...]



they told me if I had wings I'd fly
but that's not true.. that's not true

I sit in the dirt and watch the sky
I watch the sky as it passes me by



[and I don't know if it's still blue...]



my head is on my feet and it's weird
the way I'm searching for it everywhere

I have the key but the door is not there
I left it a wrong time ago right here



[and I don't know if I ever knew...]



I swear I knew more than this just moments ago,
something ate into my brain as I watched the pendulum go to and fro..


hypnotised by my own breath and what not, that came in between,
how i claim to own things but can't remember a word from my dreams..



[and I don't know if it's still true...]



they told me it takes only a moment to die
and if I can perish on my self I'd learn how to fly

if I can paint a black-hole there'll be no more reason to ask a why,
every colour is there for our amusement and window's don't lie



[and I don't know if there's a view..]



I've lingered like the shadows on a wall waiting to pry,
like that vile poison for the enemy that's too sly..

like that little boy back in the trunk that's too shy,
I remember now how it took only a moment to die..


[and I don't know if that's new...]




back to the same story, on the same page waiting to be inked,
things mightier than titanic have come and gone.. been sinked, skinned by sin..

and I'm still here, doing nothing and wasting my time all over again,
it takes only a moment to die and you're back at it again..


[and I don't know what to do...]
[and I don't know what to do...]
[and I don't know what to do...]


Do you ?

Well this machine just wasn't built right.
the receptor only processes certain sounds that it's familiar with
or images that seem to
not really exist,
motors seem to be weak
only get enough juice to function
above low power
when the system is running on the backup generator.
even then it only can move for about
an hour
it needs to be shut down for eight hours
every night
and take a fifteen minute break
every two hours
so it's really only useful 14 hours a day
at best
and if you ever forget to shut it off
or try to leave it on more then that
you'll need to send it back
to the shop
for thirty days
we recommend washing it every morning
and putting these capsules in the top
when you boot it up
it may make mistakes less often
or it could self destruct
chances are if you remember to shut it off
it will not destroy itself
there are better models but they are for display
to make you see how much more you
need to tend to this model
we really need you to know
how much care this machine takes
it doesn't do everything it's capable of but it can do
pretty much everything.

Smoke scintillated by ***** lights
Scent of cheap beer and cigarettes
Arms and legs and heads and butts
                mashed
      mangled
            mingling

In a space ejecting bravado
responding to the auricular bludgeons
plucking veins and boiling blood
arms and legs flailing like spiders
hammered by raindrops

Calloused voices scream through feedback
eking out of anguished amplifiers
while jungle drums synchronize hearts
to their frantic pulse

New friends old friends celebration
in sweaty embraces chanting screaming
stumbling outside the gates of eternity
sidewalk where we gathered round the sordid soapbox
and cast beleaguering gargantuan buildings
and endless cataclysmal streets
into abeyance

to prance along these old sidewalk cracks
stumbling along cigarette butts and beer cans
efflorescing under amative neon lights whose bombinate glow
tingles our skin and dazzles our eyeballs
rolling back into our skulls in the wake of ecstasy
billowing over our ambulant bodies

Friday nights
     Saturday nights
              Sunday nights
skipping school on a week day
braving city night life to find us in the nooks
they forgot to sweep out
where trash collects and pretends
to be unwavering and implacable
for a moment

Til it's back on the streets we spill out upon like puke
like the beer sticking to checkerboard floors
and we float home on the feedback high singing in our ears to sleep
dreaming of these ecstasies as something perennial
in punk lover's dreams

Pure when we're filthy.

You
Forced a kiss
In concrete city.
I
Thought
We were
Perfect.
My orange mohawk
Your fingers discovering every
Part of me
Diving
In
And
Out
I melted
In the back seat
Beneath your scrawny poisoned arms.
I thought
Maybe
I was bigger than the things I couldn’t understand
I thought
Maybe
If I loved you
If I disappeared
Became one with your shadow
That maybe
You would choose me.
I even became a contortionist.
Molding myself
Into your fantasy
Soft ******
Love affair.
But I never could get the ****** part
Quite right
I could never love her
Like you loved her.
I could never
Be
The image
You painted of me
In your head.
I am
Not that
Girl.