You weren't yourself
you didn't tell us you were leaving
but we knew you would
and if only you could see
We have all changed now
in our own ways
I can't remember us changing like this before
and maybe it's because you haven't been here

Turning inwards
Looking at self
Less time to compare
To the outward space
Of physical worlds
Illusory escapes
No more
Turning inwards
Into the light
The sense of self

I stared at your writing
You had written your name to remove a book from the library
The orange paper now fading
Your ink in red
I imagined your hand holding the pen
Paper you probably thought so insignificant
The significance to me colosal
The subject matter one of my interests
Shared between you and I
Words we will now not speak
Conversations we will never have
I study your writing
And I will think of you instead.

Something tied us together
you said it was
invisible string
the thing that brought us back
when we tried
separating.
A thousand ways to leave
a thousand ways to stay
anything can change in just one day.
Wondering what if,
we wandered apart
invisible string
brought us back to the start.

Our journey alone
Although impossible to be
Lonely
In this place
Encounters infinite
Time travels
New worlds begin
We begin again alone
Yet not

I made your favourite cake
i knew you'd like it
and my body was tired
but i stayed up late to make sure it was ready just for you
just how you like it.
When you told me you weren't coming
something else has come up
I said,
what about the cake
and you told me you would have it another day
because something else had come up
and it did time and time again
and there was only so many times i could bear that feeling
a feeling i wanted to reject
a feeling of feeling a reject.
So I called the whole thing off and you agreed
even then it hurt me to see
you felt the same.
It was my first birthday without you and I guess you thought about what i'd be going through
i watched you walk away after you dropped my present at the door
i thought,
after all this time,
we are strangers you and i
You've left this gift at my door and now i watch your frame walk away
wondering what days
lie ahead for you and I
separately.
Strangers we are now,
when you flicker through my mind
do i wander through yours at the same time.
Once we were,
now -
never to be
our moments in time
separately.

I bought you brazil nuts because I know they're your favourite
We usually share everything
but I don't really like these so they're just for you
I thought it might soften the frown on your face but I was probably expecting too much
I bought you a scratch card and a lottery ticket hoping you would be lucky
We live on opposite ends of the house
few words are spoken
our communication broken
When he died we began to mend
I thought, at least it was for something
Maybe he left for us to find meaning
so that we, you and me
would come together again
Now you offer me a faint smile
and I'm not sure if it's sincere
and I cry tears
thinking that we have missed the point, again.