Sherri can you hear me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom,
I've got a bunch of pills
And I'm ready to meet my doom.

Sherri can you hear me?
I'm almost ready to die.
I called you for one reason,
I wanted to say goodbye.

Sherri can you hear me?
Please don't call nine-one-one
Nothing can help anymore.
It's all done; I'm done.

Sherri can you hear me?
One, two, three, four.
Counting pills, ready for death
Oh no, they're at the door.

Sherri I gotta go,
The ambulance is here.
My wrists are sliced real bad
And my death is getting near.

Sherri I'm so scared.
Lights and sirens are on high.
They're sticking stickers on my body,
My death will soon be nigh.

Grace can you hear me?
My heart's beating too fast.
I'm seizing, once, twice, three times,
This day will soon be my last.

Grace, stop, stop!
I'm pulling out my needle
Barely aware of what's happening
My body's turning feeble.

Grace, why did you do it?
I'm now being interrogated.
Summit Ridge or Peachford?
To the hospital I am fated.

Mom can you hear me?
It's finally visitor's day.
I'm so anxious, I love you lots
Please mom, will you stay?

Grace did you hear me?
You're going no matter what.
Skyland Trail's the next step,
No ifs, ands, or buts.

Mom can you hear me?
I miss you too much.
Please. come pick me up,
I really miss your touch.

Friends can you hear me?
You're help was invaluable.
A Thank You goes to everyone
My recovery is beyond admirable.

Just one month ago, you were walking around.  
But now you're dead and buried in the ground.
So much can change in just the blink of an eye.
You went too soon, forty-eight was too young to die.
Forty years ago in 1979, we became friends.
I wish that your life hadn't come to an end.
On the 3rd day of June, you took your final breath.
You overdosed on drugs and it caused your death.
Because you were a drug user, you didn't survive.
Drugs eventually ****, that's why you're no longer alive.

What happened ?
To that little girl
Where did she go ?
It all happened to fast

Something went horribly wrong
After four years I still don't know what
That little girl is dead and gone
Her innocence left to rot

I looked in the mirror this morning
Like every other day
And what I saw was torturing
Like every other day

Who is the stranger in the mirror ?
Whose are those empty eyes staring back at me ?
Why are the eyes so empty ?
What happened to you ?
What happened ?

I feel so very detached
My memories don't feel like mine
A ******* chain is attached
To my ever dying mind

Voices are getting louder
Asking silly questions
Why don't I know the answer ?
Why are they screaming depression ?

What ever happened ?
To the happy little girl ?
Was she stolen away in the night ?
Passed on to another world ?

I don't know
I don't know anything
Anymore

Why are there scars
On my arms ?
My arms aren't as scarred as my heart
What's with all the scars ?
I don't remember falling

I remember the blades
Slipping through my skin
I remember the tang of my dark red blood
As my life line wore so thin
I remember the pills in my hand
I remember the feeling of them scrambling to get down my throat
I remember the soft feeling
Of the cigarette between my cracked lips
I remember the smooth cool of the beer flowing across my tongue

I remember all those things I shouldn't  
I don't remember the things I should
A little grave yard in my heart
For everything I've lost

I can't do this anymore
Try spending Saturday
Lying drunk on the floor
I'm telling you
I can't do this anymore

Countless times I told you
How many times did you listen ?
What do I have to say to get through
To that loving person, seems missing

I can't do this anymore
In the morning half past four
Spent the last week sleeping on the floor
I'm telling you
I can't do this anymore

How long not long
Can I last
How long not long
I'm falling so fast

Heart breaks a little more everyday
Yet I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm okay
No idea who I am my mind's gone astray
Can I even ask you to save me today ?

Don't know how this went to wrong
Innocent child long gone
I am nothing but another sad song
Forever wandering and lost in the throng

Is it too much to ask
To be just a little happy
Life's my Hercules task
I can see myself die trying

I can't do this anymore
Keep stacking on that one more
How can you fall through the floor ?
Still awake at half past four

Still awake at half past four
Don't want to sleep because
I'm afraid I won't wake up
That last overdose may have spilled the cup
But I kind of want to close my eyes
And rest my weary soul
Sorry for all those times I lied
I'm closing my eyes
To see what's on
The other side

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to see you again.
I cannot get these thoughts out of my head.
The ****** ****** detoxing on my cot.
The guy that put a gun to my head.
My mother pushing me from the car.
I want the pain to stop.
I crawl inside that bottle of whiskey.
And follow it with a few to many sleeping pills.
I want my thoughts to stop racing.
I start to drift silently into sleep,
On that park bench.
It's one in the morning.
That light is so bright.
I hear my name,
My body shaking,
"Wake up, Amanda.
Amanda you need to wake up."
There's three officers standing over me.
Flashing their lights in my face.
I start to come around.
"We need you to walk over to the squad."
I can barely stand.
My speech is slurred.
"What did you take?"
I try to tell them.
Beg and plead to just let me sleep.
They call the paramedics.
As they try to keep me awake.
Please let me sleep.
I want to say I'm sorry.
We may not wear the same uniform,
But we definitely fight on the same team.
I don't want to die.
I just want the pain to end.

one shot won't
fill it but maybe five or six
one pill won't do it
but maybe eight or nine
one night didn't fix it
but maybe twelve

the space is growing bigger
with each person that leaves
perhaps i'll double the dose
to double my chance
at being w h o l e
again

six shots didn't work
so maybe ten or twelve
nine pills didn't do it
so maybe sixteen or seventeen
twelve nights didn't fix it
so maybe thirty

"Billie Jean is not my lover."
But she tells me differently
In private.
Now, however, there's a baby
Carrying her impulsive libido
Inside of it.

A matryoshka of folly
Long nights of Texas ***** and blow
Multiple partners, that's fine, just tell me!
But please let your other suitors know
That you aren't the only one
Carrying their load.

My heart sunk, believe me,
When I drove over to your house.
And it pained me to see
Your face, for the first time,
Unable to make an expression.

One, two, three vicodin
Four, five, six at a time
Seven concluded your session.

I found you wandering the eerily-still
Streets,
Even though it was a beautiful afternoon.
I love you so much, but please...
Don't die.  I'm not in the mood.

i didn't think
that wednesday
would be
the last day
i'd see you.

the last thing
i said
to you was,
"so see you
some other
time?"

the last thing
you said
to me was,
"yes."

but that never
came true.

or at least
in the way
i expected.

because here i am
now,
at your grave,
missing you
and wishing this
was all just
a bad dream.