i hate you
this feeling of grudge just make me feel uncomfortable
why
for three long years, why are you still here
stuck in my head?
everytime we're in the same space
why do i have to hold everything
my palms felt sweaty
every mistake i make in front on you makes me feel extremely bad
i get all sweaty everywhere
why are you still part of my mechanism?
i just want to move on from this feeling
that feeling when i still long for you
whenever im alone thinking of us being together
i don't want those delusions anymore
im tired.
im tired of convincing myself that we can't be
we're impossible to be together
im tired of making myself digest that I
i'm not your perfect pair
i'm not at your standards
and telling myself it's ok
you'll find someone better
but when?
as time goes by it kept me suffering
as our space get smaller it gets suffocating
coz if you get closer, i would lose my impulse
i wouldn't want to break you
yes, i like you
but no, you don't like me too.

They say that, “the saddest poems are the ones that were never read by the person they were written for”
But how do I tell you that... you’ve read all the poems I wrote about you
You just didn’t know they were for you

I could’ve woken you
In the morning
And kissed you warm
On your lips
I could’ve hold
Your hands in mine
While strolling
In the morning light
I could’ve kissed you
Under the mistletoe
Crooning the carols right
But I didn’t do any
Just because
I was in love with you
But you weren’t
In love with me

It suddenly dawns on me
In the darkness
That I'm not convinced
You actually care about me at all

And if I forgot to stamp the footprint of me
Constantly
In your mind
You'd let the snow build
And it would be like I'd never been there
At all