Today marks the day we met
Total strangers, thats our first fleet
Until partners, can that be planned and set?

Illusion as it might appear
Imagination, as what we’d like to appeal
But can that be changed if we start to reveal?

I may have my own world
And you might have your own too
Still, can it be merged to be good for two?

12 hours in travel gap
1 hour talk before we take our naps
But for how long can we keep in touch?

Yet, just in case it takes place
Or it wont ever be, even in the 1st pace
Just remember what Im about to state

You’ll always be my favorite person
Forever busy and tired, juggling work and life
Yet sweet and funny, even green at times!

Lesson//

Do NOT
waste your time on
unresponsiveness.
Chasing familiar silence
is like drowning in oxygen.
Move on.
and with growth you will learn
of rather they were there to
Love you or
Use you.
At your worst -
you will quickly learn
who sits at the table;
do not be afraid to excuse them.


loss is an attribute of growth & possibly one of the hardest lessons.

it’s november when
the meds kick in, it’s
december when i feel
human again. (or maybe,
for the first time?)

i lack less.
found an appreciation
for something or another
dug up in the front yard
by a half-blind dog.
appreciation for
the living
and the
quiet
small
moments.

i used to know empathy,
used to take her hands
between mine in
cut scenes
but those were
   trembling eras
    of seconds,
    caught between
  an intensity i’ve since
        given     away.

an inferno.

of being
in love
with
wheat
grass bet-
ween
high
ways
and

last bit
of clouds
eating sun
like nectar
in the rearview:

or sweet talking
directly into his eyes
at midnight, hearing
a smile in the smoke
that separates our
houses.

cats with twigs
and dirt swimming
in their bellies.
ghosts in the
woods beyond
my car,
yowling at
the full moon
as if they
were born
to.

i now know
the silence and
warmth of
sleep.

i exist alongside
unfamiliar calm,
a quaint silence
that does not
burn at the
                 touch.





but

the world is
almost softer
            almost
                       lighter   --

my skin is
held to-
gether
with
some
thing
more
than
glue.

     (maybe
      stitches?)

i wonder
if i was
human
the whole
time.

These feelings,
I know them,
I’ve felt them before.
I was reeling,
In feelings,
I felt from a *****.
But now I’ve moved on,
That’s all in the past.
She’s out of my life, she’s gone,
I knew that **** wouldn’t last.

Then why, I ask,
Do I feel this way?
Towards the girl I love,
The girl that loves me.
I sit and I think,
About the feelings and thoughts,
That seem to come about,
When it seems I’ve forgot,
That she really cares,
Like nobody before,
Much more than Heather,
That stupid-*** *****.

Let’s think a second here,
She smokes and drinks beer,
Along with these habits,
Comes unending fear,
That she likes other addiction,
More than our love,
More than our friction,
Cause when push comes to shove,
I’ll let her shove me,
Right down the stairs,
Before I create some part of her,
That will need repairs,
Years and years from now,
If she ever left,
If she ever up and,
Stole my heart out my chest,
And ran and ran,
Blood spewing and spraying,
Like love was a game,
That is just meant for playing.

And she talks to this guy,
A past sugar daddy,
He thinks that he’s sly,
With Britney and Maddie,
And Courtney and Tia,
In all corners of the world,
He’s got girls that will be a,
Nice ***** for him,
And he likes my baby,
And she says she misses him,
So maybe... just maybe,
If she goes to Canada,
And decides to meet him,
They’ll get in a situation,
Where she decides to treat him...

I know this will never happen,
But there will always be the fear,
That one of us will **** up,
So I worry the end is near.
Soon I’ll gain trust,
This won’t last forever,
But, until then,
Trust issues I’ll sever,
I’ll cut them all off,
One by one,
Because feeling this feeling,
Is anything but fun.