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Mariah 7d
If you come back to
find me dead, it's just because
I see what you meant
I won't
but I wish I would.
Jamie 7d
My therapist told me
I show symptoms of OCD
But I do not have it

My days are full of fowl
images
that spread through my brain
like water

I hold my chest
and whisper goodbye
to my mother

Only I know of the
fatal accident
that will take her life today

I keep the thoughts close
like toddlers running off to get into trouble
If I lose track of them
They will become the truth

I'm used to these thoughts
they used to shake me to my core
they don't anymore

I'm prepared for the worst
I tell myself
Mariah Jun 28
I am impulsive
I am strange
Lying in the bed I made

I am anxious
I am loud
I won't make my parents proud

I am restless
I am tired
I'm not one to be admired

I am obnoxious
I am trite
Burning bridges keep me warm at night

I am indecisive
I am sure
Enjoying what I haven't earned

I am curious
I am afraid
Cleaning up a mess I made

I am grateful
If I am at all
I have no regrets that aren't absolved
Your guess is as good as mine.
villiøn Jun 26
My thoughts unravel and spin,
Falling onto whirring gears.
They catch and halt,
Friction causing fire and chaos.

The flame lights every shadow,
and it seeps into every crack.
An agonising burn,
tormenting everything it touches.

Quelled by the winds from a whisper,
Embers flutter through a chasm of thought.
Chaos kisses uncertainty —
and it roars into destruction once again.

This fire is the essence of existence.
Chaos enraptured by uncertainty.
Shadows twirl in the solemn dance of beasts.
The warmth of passion,
The sear of pain,
The fuel that torments all that is beautiful.
Entropy entangled in an immortal bond.

I walk the path,
set in a blazing inferno,
Burdened by the weight of stardust,
With the toll of seeing too much.

Trapped in an infinite expanse.
Freedom entombed in death.

Madness consumes.
I am a witness to it all.
Madness consumes.
I am the bearer of it all.
Madness consumed —
I am the embodiment of it all.
Mariah Jun 20
Guilt, guilt, guilt
As far as I can see

Weight, weight, wait!
Its crashing down on me

Shame upon my name
Rehabilitate with blame

Change, change, strange
Things still stay the same
I don't know if this makes sense but I feel it anyway.
Mariah Jun 19
Thank the God I don't believe in
Thank the ones I do
Thank the mistakes I've made
And how they beat me blue
guilty guilty guilty
Mariah Jun 19
I cannot forget
While you deserve the whole world
I deserve the dirt
How can I apologize when you won't let me?
anotherdream Jun 19
What would you have to lose
If you chose to run away?
Cause that's what I've been wondering
When my nightmares keep me awake.

Would your thoughts race for hours
With the memories of our secret place,
If you could forsee my disappearance
If you knew that we would change?

Perhaps this feeling is not justified
Because I'm over-analyzing things,
When I'm aiming for an equilibrium
In the friendships that I make.

Cause when I consider endless factors
That I cannot control and have to face,
I realize perfection is not possible
For a human to attain.
I'm realizing that a perfect balance in friendships/relationships doesn't really exist. There will always be some sort of imbalance in terms of who loves each other more.... and that's normal. I should stop working toward a goal that is unreachable.
star May 28
i’m slowly breaking 5.27.25 (5:47 pm / 18:47)
i’m slowly breaking, can’t you see
can’t you understand me?

i don’t need to be diagnosed,
i just want you to hold me
and know me and see me

i don’t care that i’m broken in a hundred different ways
i don’t care that i’m cutting and starving
and crying alone and being depressed

i don’t care that the whole world is just closing in
claustophobically
crushingly

i’m slowly breaking
and i don’t care
i just want you to be here
tw: self harm, eating disorders
Jon May 21
the sign speaks to you
in your mind
but you know
it is silent.

take a fifth one
feel the rough material
scratch against the skin
of your hands

take a sixth one
and be free

take a seventh one
and break the cycle
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