Who am I?
Well, who are you?
Standing there
Telling me what to do

Forgive my stare
Its just that I can tell
What you're here to sell
Is not the truth

Who I am
Who I am to you
And the difference between the two

One is real,
But the other is easier to chew

wishing I was dead
never worked out
in the end
Life and Death were friends
who needed me
just as I,
had always needed them

I don't know if it makes sense,
                       but I'll feel it anyway.
Find trust inside myself,
                       hear what I've had to say.
Something inside me has always known,
                       when the grounds are due to shake, when the tide begins to grow.
I beg myself at my own feet,
                        Forgive Me! now knowing why she pushed retreat.
After all this time I can start to see,
                       I was always looking out for me.
And my hands, shaking but sure
               look squeaky clean.
And I'm willing to bet,
               that they always were.

I don’t quite know,
where my bones go,
Or how my arm is supposed to bend.
The cold creeks gush,
Stung my fresh cuts,
When we went swimming at world’s end.

My therapist told me
I show symptoms of OCD
But I do not have it

My days are full of fowl
images
that spread through my brain
like water

I hold my chest
and whisper goodbye
to my mother

Only I know of the
fatal accident
that will take her life today

I keep the thoughts close
like toddlers running off to get into trouble
If I lose track of them
They will become the truth

I'm used to these thoughts
they used to shake me to my core
they don't anymore

I'm prepared for the worst
I tell myself