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lua Dec 2020
it's the ache in my chest
and the tingle in my palms
the ***** of tears at the corner of my eyes
that makes me think
makes me wonder
what it is to truly feel
what love is like
as young as i am
and as innocent as i seem
amidst the world
desensitised
and numb
i don't understand
and maybe that's okay for now
because from my own experience
from what my own fingertips feel
from what my eyes have touched
and from what my ears have solemnly listened
it is a kind of pain
we often yearn for.
SquidInk Dec 2020
everyone envisions their hope for their future
whether they want to lose weight
or whether they want to fall out of habits
some people envision having a family
having kids and a dog
marrying that one boy that makes them so happy
is it bad that in my future i envision nothing for myself
perhaps in the future i will be gone..
SquidInk Dec 2020
some people feel anxious a lot
some people feel overly tired all the time
some people have anger issues
some people enjoy life
some people are happy, or sad, or mad
but i am numb

when i wake up, i am numb
i stay in my room because i feel numb
i cry to try and feel something, anything
but i suddenly stop because feelings are exhausting

i hate going to school because my friends give me ****
i already get enough at home, i dont need it here too

its like everyone has their place in this school and im floating around groups
its hard to be happy when you work so hard to make everyone else happy
its hard to laugh when youre always making sure everyone else is laughing

they dont realize how easy it is to fake a smile
to tell a lie for the sake of their feelings
to act like you are just fine

they dont realize that when i look the happiest is when i feel the numbest
an easier, less painful way to live
igc Dec 2020
You know
The feels
I feel
The most
Are the feels
That feel
Like you
Max Dec 2020
I don’t get why people want me to stay the same

When all I want to do is change

Never been normal or human

I’ve always wanted to be a shapeshifter

Now look what I am

An ever blooming flower

Don’t try to stop something that’s supposed to happen

I exist for a reason, not sure what

Try and stop me

I dare ya.
Max Nov 2020
People assume I’m happy when I do not cry

Assume I’m sad without a smile

Some say I’m lonely, but I prefer comfortable

Others say I’m comforted yet I am alone

Don’t assume.
Fatema Aj Nov 2020
Time is stretching
I don’t know what i am doing
But i am slipping
Why is no one listening?
The walls are watching me
They’re calling my name
Are my words blind to the ears?

words fall out my mouth scattered
Don’t they?
Must be
Has to be!

Must be the curse given at birth
Forgotten child
Be quite child
Sit down child
Behave
Don’t scream
Pick up your feet
Straighten your back
Clean that paint
Don’t scream
Stay still
Don’t breathe, child

words fall out my mouth scattered
Don’t they?
Must be
Has to be!

I had my head full of dreams
Colours and ecstasy
These pills they make me feel grey
And they take pieces of my identity
Burn them at the corner of my brain
But i am not feeling so good
I am just me and your so many

I am not ready ..

I had my head full of dreams
Visions and blurred reality
These hands they make me feel raw
And they pour tears on my open scars
They open my mouth, let out a laughter
A scream right between my teeth
I am not feeling so good
I am just me and your so many

Just one more hit
Let me drown myself
And you take my body’s suit,
Just one more hit
Ill dose off in a haze
And then you can bury me
In all my favourite colours
Mikaela L Nov 2020
After a while, I realized,
My mind was quite aloft,
All the daydreaming, the crying,
The cursing in between dreams,
So bleak, so dark, so tasteless,
So easy to forget, but so notoriously present,
I no longer sleep at night,
Instead, I sleep with my eyes wide open,
In bare daylight,
I marvel at the talent I've cultivated,
Or, at least, at the unspoken ability that,
The little girl that I once was has resorted to,
Just to bear one more day,
Only one more.
Do you daydream as much as I do?
V Nov 2020
"...they looked so happy!"


Yes....
They all do.
Tw: Suicide
💔
I Just lost a truly close friend of mine who committed suicide, the unfortunate thing is I have lost so many closest to me throughout my life, whether intentional, accidental or simply never knowing why...
They all seem to go, and not too sound too miserable/odd here, but I am now too numb to know what to do anymore...whenever things like this happen.
I feel alone and empty.
And even though my friend is gone, I still blame myself for not doing more...

To those who have come to know the detriment of grief,
I share, feel, hear and empathize with your pain, and I am here for you.
It is something one can never heal from entirely-even though they say "time will."
May your own strength carry on forever to those like myself who-as this community has helped me, help to comfort many missing parts through the power of words alone.

I love you, stay strong.
💗
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