I've sat on countless rooftops with dozens of people staring blankly at stars urging them to teach me anything
and I haven't been able to fully comprehend why my existence does or does not matter until tonight
It's difficult to come to an agreement on whether or not your impact matters in the world
But on roof tops surrounded by great friends who wouldn't be there without the help of the stars aligning perfectly
The answer seems simple
My mother always warned me about
handsome boys with meteors for tongues
and grips resembling black holes
About pretty girls with star dust in their breath
and tummies softer than the clouds floating in the sky.
The first time she spoke my name
my mind could not comprehend why
my palms had started to sweat
and my smile stretched across horizons.
The second time it did.
See, I'm not one to reach blindly into the stars,
but in that moment it seemed as if
rocket ships were built to discover the
galaxies in her eyes.
And I didn't mean to make this a running cliche
but that night I saw millions of lightyears into the future
and I'm convinced Saturn's rings would look just as stunning
on her finger.
My horizon fades as I remember her galaxy has its own sun
igniting her days with happiness and warmth
not yet found in my solar system.
My mother always told me to look before I leap
but the gravity surrounding her entire being
keeps giving the illusion
I'll land safely.
I wish I wouldn't think of you
as much as I do.
I wish your words didn't swim around my head
forcing me to clench my eyes shut in an effort to stop
impossible images from invading my dreams.
I wish it didn't make me angry.
That I could just accept what it is I'm feeling
but I can't.
I hate it.
I hate you.
I wish I could read your mind.
Find out who's behind that sheepish look
and wicked smile.
I wish you didn't remind me of writing.
That your gaze didn't resurrect the most
embarrassing of cliches from my lips.
Give me my breath back.
I wish I hated it.
I wish I hated you.
You told me never to fall for a poet.
That their metaphor coated tongues
would inevitably cloud my judgement,
Yet every time you compared my smile
to a fresh bag of wind
My sun would creep out from between
the overcast and warm my bones.
You told me never to fall for an athlete.
That their cunning games were played
both on and off the field,
Yet the way you looked at me
contradicted your actions so
thoroughly you left me feeling
You told me never to fall for a scholar.
That their strict lives were led by their
reason and not by their heart,
Yet every time you confided in me I felt
as though your calculated mind held
all the answers to the universe
overshadowed by your desires and
You told me never to fall.
Yet you pushed me.
You're the kind of infatuation
Momma warned me about
He's the kind of person who looks into somebody else's eyes and only sees the reflection of himself.
It's like opening a beautifully written book,
And then washing out all the words.
Just so you can fill the pages,
With your own.
If I could have one wish,
I'd wish for you
Call me selfish
But I know you'd make me a better person
than I could ever be.