Are the feels
Sunrise colors deliver my sadness,
Have you noticed what they bring?
Peeking thoughts of labor, love, and leaving
Blur the lines
And show me gods and ghosts and greed
Every tear's a piercing needle
The masochistic indulgence I'm desperate for
Sorrow replacing all need and apprehension
I feel you with me while deprived and alone
Together does not assume company,
it's a notion I can't describe
Whispers say it means I love you,
the moon saying its goodbyes
Teach me something you've never heard of
Watch me blink into a new eye sight
Fuzzy visions yielding promise
making sure you're alright
Falling slowly deeper and deeper
You're the view behind my eyes
First thing in the morning,
last thing at night
Fill my insides with ticklish whispers
Catch my soul holding you right
If I could fold up and package all the things
I do that make you upset I would
I would carefully twist and wrap and bend and
stuff it into a grenade and set it off inside your
The worst of me is still my best
I sat outside
In the rain for what felt like
No matter how late it got
You did not call
I've sat on countless rooftops with dozens of people staring blankly at stars urging them to teach me anything
Despite my pleas it's impossible for them to predict whether or not my impact will survive in this world
And still I haven't been able to understand why my existence does or does not matter until tonight
On roof tops surrounded by great friends who wouldn't be there without the help of the stars aligning perfectly
The answer seems simple
My mother always warned me about
handsome boys with meteors for tongues
and grips resembling black holes
About pretty girls with star dust in their breath
and tummies softer than the clouds floating in the sky.
The first time she spoke my name
my mind could not comprehend why
my palms had started to sweat
and my smile stretched across horizons.
The second time it did.
See, I'm not one to reach blindly into the stars,
but in that moment it seemed as if
rocket ships were built to discover the
galaxies in her eyes.
And I didn't mean to make this a running cliche
but that night I saw millions of lightyears into the future
and I'm convinced Saturn's rings would look just as stunning
on her finger.
My horizon fades as I remember her galaxy has its own sun
igniting her days with happiness and warmth
not yet found in my solar system.
My mother always told me to look before I leap
but the gravity surrounding her entire being
keeps giving the illusion
I'll land safely.
I wish I wouldn't think of you
as much as I do.
I wish your words didn't swim around my head
forcing me to clench my eyes shut in an effort to stop
impossible images from invading my dreams.
I wish it didn't make me angry.
That I could just accept what it is I'm feeling
but I can't.
I hate it.
I hate you.
I wish I could read your mind.
Find out who's behind that sheepish look
and wicked smile.
I wish you didn't remind me of writing.
That your gaze didn't resurrect the most
embarrassing of cliches from my lips.
Give me my breath back.
I wish I hated it.
I wish I hated you.