when not the monsters under my bed
Make me have sleeples nights
But my own mind
Making me have a hard time

Forcing me to rhyme
And is torturing me in my own mind

Wishing upon my downfall
While making me cry
With the long ago scense
From my previous life

But who is it
that torments me in those lonely night?
Is it the night
who wakes me up
Or is it me,
who won't let my running thoughts cry?

Cleanse me from
the dust of
the night, and
the apocalyptic
visions of my
slumber.
Fish guts, ****, or
insomnia may have
conjured these rotting
skin nightmares,
these mosquitoes from
hell.
I struggled to wake up,
but couldn't, and finally,
while I was flying in
a gray land of desolation,
and killers,
of nighthawks and harpies.
I soared through a
hazy wasteland, and arrived
safely back home
in my serene, August Sabbath.

I have a recurring dream
Settle down
I'll set the scene

An old house I'm renovating
Quite large with many rooms

Outside the garden needs tending
A fishpond with murky water
Broken statue
Needs mending

There's a feeling of foreboding
I try to ignore this
Concentrate on the work
One day it will be
A fine holding

There's a cupboard that's hard to find
You can climb right inside
To a shaft leading down
A
Long
Way
Down
Once you reach the bottom
There's a tunnel
That goes straight ahead
Taking a walk down
I start to forget
It's small things to start
But the further I go
More is forgotten
I'm compelled to carry on
But where do I stop?
Until I've forgotten who I am?
Until I've forgotten how to turn back!
How far can I push forward?
Each time
I try to go
Another step
Forward
Then
One
Last
Thought
Is
Left
TURNAROUND

Each step back
Brings a memory back
It's at this point
I awake

Every time I return
The renovation
Has progressed
Fish now swim
In clear water of the pond

The feeling of foreboding
Is lessening
Birds outside
Now singing

But
That cupboard is still
Hard to find
I know
If of the mind
Could find
And one more time......

In a wicked twilight- I had dreamt a suicidal dream, roaming
around deserted lands; screaming within. As every tear drop
was just a dew drop watering the lands; I once envisioned
as a blank page of life- those colours drained away.

My smile is covered in the ink of a tear; as I wondered if I
could catch them running quick- flowing to the pavement by
every blink. Soon after the rain-washed the days, everything I
once seen, became so, so, so bleak.

I caved into the arms of someone- her flush pink cheeks
injected the clouds with their colours, that you could pick
apart. Sealing the pit of despair in a glass jar, stealing from
time a lingering kiss, to scatter wide and far.

Hoping that this time, this time I won’t find comfort in
an element that burns in time's fire. Scorching my soul to
the ends of longing to meet death again.

            Till I realized, I wasn’t dreaming at all.

Whirling vortex; -
I stalked a dream so smooth-tongued,
every whisper of it, had an attention to its
words- intentions to look so divine.

And for a fleeting choice of the moment,
I faintly enjoyed the lie.

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refuge in the maze
i hide within
bushes and brambles

Mother, why did you pursue?
i've seen you stabbed
and bleeding
sweaty crouched within
bushes and brambles
you never made me bleed
why do you make me run?

911 phone calls
hiding in the closet
save me - God!
my annual prayer
intercede

Mother, why did you track me down?
i leave my life and love
behind
abandoned maze
save me - God!

sleeping in your sheets
homes has changed
the waking world
betrays my memories
pleated in my breaths are
cut off silent screams

overlayed with reality
are dreams
chased shoved
falling from family
i hide within
painful realities
as they become my dreams

Once, the static in my brain
Aligned so perfectly with the rushing in my veins
That it became central to my consciousness.
Perceived by my ears as an ever-rising crescendo,
My heart swelled, radiating pin-****** - painfully,
Down to my fingertips.
I was immobilized by dread,
And capitulation to fear was imminent,
As I realized the presence
Of an unwelcome and terminal essence;
It was striving for control, unwilling to settle for less.
I at first tried to fight- but the hold was too strong;
My limbs were too weak to fend for myself,
My mind too frantic to offer help -
So I accommodated instead, and ever since.