" A cigarette is my lover,
Comforting me during my hardest times,
Turning my sadness to smoke
My anger into ember
And caresses my lips
With the deadly kiss of nicotine "

Yellow syrup coats the glass
Held together by rainbow metal
Flashing lights line the coal-black screen
This is my vice
Begging me to cave in
To take one taste
I'm overwhelmed with sadness
But I see through its disguise
If I fight the cravings
My brain attempts to manipulate me
Back into the drug
Sadness
Anger
Frustration
Anxiety
They're all ploys
Trap doors to fall through
Right back into my addiction
I have to check myself
To remember that quitting
Is an active choice I make
And even though it's only been 5 hours
It's better than nothing

the taste of nicotine, infecting the young
the deep breath in, corroding my lungs
the squelch of a flame beneath my boot
the extinguished warmth between me and you.

inhale quick, forget as i try
leaving room for sickness to grow

blaming the numbness on the high
i still feel nothing when i'm low.

​”I am addicted.
She is my bottle of *****.
She is my cookie crumbs.
She is the eighth colour of my rainbow.
The colour that’s everywhere,
Except inside the rainbow.
She is my three A.M.
The three A.M. pain I write about,
And the three A.M. calls I don’t make.
She is my happy ever after.
The happy ever after in a fairytale,
In those tales for my three A.M. kid,
In those stories for my four A.M. demons,
In those lullabies for my five A.M. drowsy eyes.
She is my sushi.
She is my ‘one eyelash – one wish’.
She is my 11:11 ‘Wish, please come true’.
She is my cigarette.
Here’s the ******* problem.
I’m addicted.
And she’s my nicotine patch.”

I lay you on my lips
you burn me
out of breath

I kiss you
intermittently
inhaling
all the satisfaction
I can take

I catch my breath
in between  
till you finish
by signing my lips
with that little
burn
that keeps me
wanting
more