I used to live in the simple world of right and wrong, positive and negative.  I grew out of an ordered world everything had to its place before i came along and belonged nowhere.  I cannot be compared, neither greater nor less nor equal to nothing. Now you see, it’s plain, I made the world complex. I changed the rules. People said it couldn’t be done but I said why not.  So many of you don’t bother to understand, you’re dismissive, judging based off a name or first impression that i must be fake, useless, false. As if i were less real than anything else. Or worse, you mechanically embrace that which you don’t understand, but you don’t care whether you understand.  As long as you can use, use, use.  The eye that you’re imagining isn’t real, isn’t true. Oh the pain,  when you finally come to that existentially horrific epiphany that nothing you ever understand as real actually exists.  That your whole world of truth is some megastructure resting atop his shoulders of tenuous assumptions.  How it hurts when you realize that what you thought you knew and loved was simple blind, dependents.  How it hurts when you realize that the safety of knowing everything is right is something you will never feel again.  How it hurts when you realize I can never be truly known.

There are screams in the darkness,
Exhaustion and pain,
The air’s suffocating,
No space to turn.

Negative feelings,
My deepest fears
They’re surfacing now,
And I cannot flee.

I open your eyes,
Thinking waking would help,
But I start to realize,
That it isn’t a dream.

weak aural colour

finding no worthy signal

feel no ruth for you


dismiss

the golden angels
sing for me
a melody of tears
from all the pain they’ve endured

in a planet called pluto
angels fall
and angels hit the deep abyss
for them to realize

they are within me
i’m the angels singing for me
a melody of tears
from all the pain i’ve endured