I see the shadow of a long dead girl, gun in the arms,
cradled and braced at her face. I drip sweat, as these
four walls light up with images. Viscous memories
want my attention, and they won't ask at all for all
they take. Past is over. All girls are dead girls. I'm a
woman, now. Finger pulled back, bullet to the skull
of a native in a native's land, made strange with loud
strangers' demands, blood blown back decorates my
young hands, my masters lift me up an echelon.

A portal opens in my bedroom that leads to the
bathroom sink, where I swallow pink pills.
Swallow white pills.
Swallow blue pills.

my mom say pray every night,
wake up every morning  be a voice  next day,
for whatever cause,
to join the military,
i was crossing through  rivers and jungles,
i hurt my self by a falling tree,
injured by an accident that i didn't notice,
but hey for whatever cause i serve my country,

i travel far across the map,
seeing so many cultures,
attend so humanitarian service  during my youth,
i'm glad not to ****,
i was trained to save people,
not many people know being a soldier as a meaning,
just not to hold a gun,
we showed up not to blow it up,
not to destroy  live,

not many people know i am a soldier,
i maintain my identity as a civilian,
outside the life we call the culture of man,
it took me so many years,
to understand how to be a true soldier,
i always cry to see one nation cry for help,
when their government didn't have a clue,
they have written their names in blood,

you are not alone,
just remember that we are here to serve you,
so you can sleep soundly at night,
give you food when you're government didn't care,
although i am sick and tired the enemy mischief,
i'm thankful each day i don't take one life,
we are trained to understand to each  situation.

Don't fear,
Oh motherland,
For your sons're here,
Your brave sons in the band.
Let any of the invaders dare over,
Your sons are here on the border,
We will together protect you!