I'm not actually here
I'm self destructive and angry
I write cuz words wont ever betray me
So don't try and slay me
We're all mortal men - nothing to fear
So listen up
I want you too hear
I'm dead inside
Locked in a cage or a cell
I can't decide
My mind unwinds or gets twisted up
I'm confused it's hard to tell
I almost fell
Went stumbling
I'm wobbling
I'm going home I'm fucken done
Peace ✌

may the corpses rest in peace
killed by them scars and disease
cutting a smile in half
awaiting the sweet relief

tears spilling in grief
breathing the ever lasting pain
until it's too late to leave
I don't know what I became

and ran through those doors
out in the ocean
climbing up the walls
that are now old and broken

swam with the sharks
and I danced with the clouds
as a symphony of thunder played
beyond the reach and loud

lightning up the fiery stars
as they fell down from the sky
exploding in a thousand pieces
and no one could hear me cry

that was a rather lonely time
there was not much to find
in dark that consumed me whole
i lost all that was ever mine

i turned to see but it was gone
nothing but empty space all around
i screamed and wept for the names
but there was never to be no sound

then a shiver ran through my bones
and I felt a stranger in my own skin
thunder was raging up and high
I thought that would be my coffin

and then I saw the dead crawling
in numbers on the shore
a sea of rotten meat
like they sang in the old lores

winds blew me to the herd
as they grazed beyond a red sea
the sky was full of birds
more than it was supposed to be

there I stood in the shadows
mesmerized by what I had seen
memories spent in mourning
how long could it have been

I'm forgetting all that matters
time has never felt so wrong
in the ages that have been withered
have I been dead for so long ?




i remember dreaming of a ghost
in whispers I heard him sing
he told me that I shall too be
swept away by the northern winds

The dream -
I know it's gone.
I became too involved and let loose
Ham-****** desperation.
It was neat and cogent until I scrunched it up
To hold you tight.

My blanket of insanity, It kept me warm,
Warped,
Diluted,
Pretty
Little pictures in my mind,
Of things only regurgitated
Into that which a mind could
Cope with in this fractured land.
It was a land where I lived, I heard
Distant voices,
Distant memories
Distant soon to be close,
But the horror affected me,
The cloud did disperse,
Normality entered where I wished it not,
Cursed,
Blighted,
Eyes
Screamed at what was seen,
Commonality,
Normal,
Sane,
I was but the same a clone,
Of the next one, of the next one,
I felt cold my blanket kept me warm,
Now I was in this place.
How can you live like this,
It is a place of order, where has
Chaos gone. I screamed and noise
Permeated
Vibrated
Carried
Through the  air, not visuals once seen
I hated my own voice, screams.
But it was fleeting, as my mind blurred
The lines once again, cuddled me in the aura of
Beautiful confusion,
Normality faded like a setting sun
I know it will rise again, but for now
I have escaped rationality,
Once again I embraced the insanity
Long live the moments of warmth
I live in a world of lucid insane  thoughts,
But I am home, where I was before.