does a sacred stone
still retain its worth
if it was never taken
from it’s hidden earth?
could it truly be
a treasure trove
if no one sees
its alluring glow?
-
is my mind right to tell me
that invisibility doesn’t cause irrelevance?
or is that just a way to cope with
the ever feared unfounded-forgotten-pestilence

I tiptoe around the world
like I'm afraid to wake it up,
to draw attention to the clicks
my shoes make

Silence does pervade
while I sit idle on the sidelines,
never close to the centre,
here it is safe

In the background I fade,
observant but cautious,
already weary of this life
and all its pains

But here is a new day;
flickering eyelids do perceive it;
as long as I'm here I'll muse
but not participate

I tiptoe around the world,
not only to leave it undisturbed,
but to keep my soul still full
with the smallest ray

i'm sorry
i cannot talk today
my curtains have cried that
the sun is too warm
to be here
where things come
to die
i haven't eaten
since yesterday and
the door is still unlocked
because i am nothing
worth keeping safe
i told my mom
that i loved her
with my mouth closed
and she cried
because i cannot talk today
my walls are panicking
the four of them caving in
like weak knees, i think
they agree with the
curtains
i haven't eaten since yesterday
and the sun has tapped on
my window twice
i have no reply to give
it doesn't belong
here where things do
not live
i don't like myself
because i love my
mother and i am
no piece of her
she can only
love once
and i cant
not love someone
who gives me their coat
a coat, my standards
are high like the ceiling
that rots while i sob
because i cannot talk today
i'll sleep under the bed again
just like last tuesday
when you told me that i was
too haunted to touch and too
hollow to reach
you didn't have to
break that truth
it cuts me knowing that
i do not
deserve soft things
or warm things like
the sun that bangs
on my window
shouting that i'm someone
he'd like to meet

the city
was
lonely
yet you
were my
silver lining

Being ignored by someone you adored is a lot like hell

Being implored by someone you abhorred sounds swell

i ache in areas i didn't know could feel pain
like a stepped on leaf—brought by disdain
i bleed in crevices i thought i had fixed;
but my body seems to deny the remedies —it ditched

the cries;
the laughter,
the shattering thunder
makes my heart unnaturally falter

the heaviness;
the rage,
the unforgiving phase,
the me you cannot replace


the heave and squeal,
the dying of zeal,
the red as it shed—
and the blue once its dead.

im scared
ive barricaded my door
cried a river into my floor
someone save me

im scared
i thought i was strong enough to be on my own
but now i'm afraid to be in my own home
someone please save me

when the taylor swift concert ended
and you didn’t even ask me how it was
that was the second i knew
when the only thing you commented was how
far away the stage was from my seat
your jealousy creeping up like a monster
you only talk about yourself, never ask me how i am
i might be asking for too much, but maybe you don’t ask for enough
and you didn’t ask about it once just, “how was the show?”
the most bluntly asked question ever
do you ever consider how you make me feel
when you constantly degrade and insult me?
wallowing in my own loneliness feels better than being around you
i’m sorry i don’t know who you are
wait—of course i do
you explain every detail of your life
lamenting over your “struggles” and your stupid little petty dramas
spouting out nonsense like a fountain
do you even know i have a brother
or that he beat down the walls
and the tears from the years of his constant fist fights and head banging?
do you even know about my love for taylor swift or lana del rey because it feels like they actually listen to the things i have to say
even if it’s just their lyrics that i sing to the dusty mirror by my bed?
do you even know i have anxiety festering underneath this forced porcelain skin?
do you even know how sad i get, just how unwanted and melancholy i feel when i pace around my room having nothing better to do?
do you even know how much i cry at night, just ripping myself apart and not even for anyone else’s sake?
do you even know the pain i feel knowing that even my best friend won’t ask me how i’m doing, won’t let me get the flames off my chest?
do you even know my dreams and aspirations?
do you even know that poetry twinkles in my soul and brings light into a vast void of nothingness?
do you even know how much i vouch for you in the vehement conversations i have with my parents?
do you even know my favorite songs, my favorite shows, my favorite movies, my favorite foods—the most basic facts ever?
how do you even sleep a wink at night knowing the lack of details that you know about me?
i saw my favorite artist two days ago and you didn’t even ask me how it was.
you didn’t ask me if she played my favorite song, if it was loud, if it was as fun as i expected, if it was the first time i’ve seen her, if it was a sudden realization that letting go is beautiful?
do you even care enough to ask me anything at all, or should i just keep asking about the boys who constantly blow up your phone, about the “friends” of yours who don’t want to see the best in you, of your “totally unfair” parents supposedly wronging you over and over again?
do you even care about the girl you call your best friend?
do you even care?