Why am I becoming like you?
I'm becoming who I said I'd never be
And low and behold, when I look into the mirror of my soul, it's not me I see any longer
No, it's a slightly different version of you in me
I feared for this day forever
This is not how I wished to end up by any means
I see you in me and it's terrifying and I loathe it

i watch the liquid crimson surface on my skin,
emerge from the depths of my being,
away it falls from me,
the stinging sensation filling me,
with joy?
no
with release.
with the freedom to control me.
the swift motion of the blade,
is me,
not her,
not him,
not them.
me
I decide my fate.

I don't understand you and how you've managed to scoop up every last bit of my being and sign it with your name in permanent ink, it's like I'm your property, like I'm something you bought years ago and used to love but now you just leave me to rest on a your shelf of forgotten toys and treasures. I still love you and I shouldn't but I do because at the end of the day you're the only one I think I ever did love. I loathe you for making me love you because it isn't fair for you to make me feel like I'm all you've ever dreamed about and then as dawn fades to dust I'm a huge mound of nothingness to you. I wish I could stop feeling this way but I still want to be yours like I was back then

I began to resent every second of your company
To end up with the other woman to many, a dream?
A bitter nightmare.
Drenched in self loathing for my actions
I began to slowly abhor you.
Ticking my eyes over you, scouring every inch with hate
Removing your facade,
Every arrogant word you spat,
Your gluttonous ways
Superficial,
Lack of depth.
I detest you

I detest myself for foolishly choosing you.

*Never trade love for lust

Him
You can see he's broken
just by looking at his tired eyes
in the verge of tears
as he makes another hole in the wall
Tidal wave of emotions
he can't cope or come around
A certain expectancy
A hope that the future will be bright
But there's nothing else to hope for
when you are falling apart
Yet he brings himself together
Puts on that fake smile

Her
When the sun shines, oh so bright
not letting her hide from life
you can notice the pain, the deepness
in her seemingly fresh scars
She stares at her reflection
dreading everything she sees
Cursing under her breath
every cut, every scar, every slit
"I hate you", she mumbles
putting her makeup on
Not death, but life that scares her
Smile, even faker than before
Oh, dear warrior,
they will never know.

She was losing herself
Her sleeve stained with red
She was praying and hoping
No one would ever tell

Once again, not so innocent girl
She cried herself to sleep
One last time, her life slowly
dripping out of her wrist

She looked through old photographs
Escaping from reality
Crying silently as she watched
Walking in her memories

"And to think we all wanted to grow up"

Someone call out to him
Before he does something senseless

Someone call out to him*
Because I won't

I'm not afraid of you.
Yes, you make me shiver,
Shutter and pale too,
Cringe under your darkly gaze
But by instinct, we all do.

You make my tear ducts swell and burst,
My chest heave rapidly
My heart may try to skip a beat
Hands fade like a dying cherry

But under all my loathe for you
One thing, steadfast,
Will always stand true.
You make me cry,
Blanch petrified toox
To hell will your heartless acts!
You may be beyond all scrutiny and forgiveness
Still.
I'm not afraid of you.