Damage
**** Edge

i wonder what you would think
if you knew that i wrote poems about you

She sits on the cold tile floor
Her life flashes before her eyes
4 am regrets.

The lack of sleep is just getting to her.

The shadows loom over the curtains
The pictures of her past start collapsing on the floor
Her head hits the back of the wooden bed panel

Could you wish for anything more unhanded?

The music from the neighbors flat echoes into the night
The barely visible drawings on the wall sneer at her
Its past her bedtime.

Who are you waiting up for anymore?

The ringing in her ears grow louder
The hours pass by slipping through the cracks of the drain.
Who are you crying to anymore?

There is no one to confess to.

The mirror overshadows the bed like church pews at midnight
She tells her that she never loved her.
She disappeared into the clouds that loom over the moon.

Her watch tells her to sleep.

She sighs and climbs back into bed
She remembers that she never loved her.
She remembers the scars that trail along her back.

Her life cannot help but flash before her eyes.

The ceiling morphs and twists
Her eyes flutter shut as her mind plays its tricks
She caresses the scars that itch at the roots of her hair.

Maybe its better this way for everyone.

She can no longer hear the heart beating slowly in the closet
Her mother told her that she is worthless
She begs for the sleep to take her.
Before her mind starts wandering to that point.

The darkness feels cool against her skin
The crooked mattress settling in its place
She sleeps on her side to avoid the bedroom mirror
The world grows still around her as it walks

on ******* eggshells.

The dawn permeates through the broken window sill
She never was a heavy sleeper.
She went missing out of nowhere
The ringing of her phone echoed in her ears

like Sunday bells.

And there was no more trace of the former shadows that pitifully gazed at her in the corners of her room.

-Kore

have I deluded myself into thinking I am a good person
have a I lied to myself saying that it was just a mistake
have I tricked myself into believing I have not hurt others
I think I have

he slowly approached life
who was shimmering with hope
he dared not to touch her,
for the fear, he will hurt the one he loved the most

but life saw the pain in his eyes
and decided not to care
as she held his hand and held it close
and death thought "life was indeed, unfair"

"Why are you doing this?"
he said with deep regret, in his voice
she looked at him lovingly as she caresses his face
"i felt, this was the right choice"

And right there and then, he watched life
as she started losing all her strength and glow
she weakly smiled. "I love you" she whispered
before she disappears, she wanted to let him know

Now death continues his journey
remembering life as his best memory
she taught him how unfair everything can be,
not even death, can predict what happens to thee

what if one day,
i wont remember who you are?

what if one moment will cause me,
to forget all the memories we share?

Will you take my hand?
and try to understand?

or will you let me go?
if you do, just please let me know

but i promise you, if you stay
i'll remember it all again one day

because i may forget who i was,
but never who i loved...

my heart won't forget you...

face up on the ground
rain hits my face
i have been here before
lying in the mud
slowly enveloping me
like a hug
or perhaps more like a boa constrictor
my skin pulls upward
towards the stars
towards light
while my bones want nothing more
then to be laid to rest

I want you to think of me.
I hate that I want that –
That I’m thinking of you
Long enough for me to want
You to return the favor.
But here’s the thing:
I haven’t been sleeping;
Every time I close
My eyes I think of your
Eyes and your
Face and how much
I want to punch that face
In its jaw.
My anger ridden insomnia
Cannot be explained
By anything other
Then the fact that
You drive me insane
To the point where
I want nothing more than
To have you lying next to
Me in my bed,
Your arms around my waist,
Your breath on my neck,
So I can roll over
And, so easily,
Punch you
In the jaw.
Because you’re a *******.
You’ve been an ***
And your *** hasn’t
Bothered to ask me what’s
Wrong.
What’s wrong is obviously
You
And there’s no way
You
Don’t know that
But you still let my anger
Simmer
And
Boil
And
Seethe
And act like I’m the one
Making a ‘big deal
Of things’.
Well listen to me
You little ****.
I hope to god you
Know what it feels like
To have someone stuck
On your mind constantly.
I want you to think of me
When you’re driving your car
Or lying in bed
Or with someone else.
I want to be on your mind
Incessantly
And I want it
To drive you
Crazy.
Because you’re well aware
That something could have happened
If you hadn’t tried to take
Advantage of what you
Had.
I want you to know
That you’re the one that
****** up.
Not me.
For once,
It was not me.
Because I tried so hard
And you acted like my concerns
Were meaningless and
My words were suggestions.
I hate that I still think of you
When things were so close
To being so unimaginably
Bad.
It’s terrifying.
It’s terrifying that
My need for you almost
Led to pain
And fear
And hatred
That I know all too well.
I hate that you
Made me relive a
Panic that I’ve avoided
For years.
Whether or not you’re cognizant
Of what you did –
It doesn’t matter.
It happened.
It almost kept happening.
Do you realize that?
I hate that I’m thinking of you
When you turned my feelings,
The good ones I’ve worked
For so long to be able
To feel again,
Into dread.
You did that.
And I hope that,
When you’re thinking of me,
You realize that.
You realize what you did wrong
And you never
Ever
Do it to anyone else again.