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PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I’m not A normal Women.
I have issues That affect Not just me but my life entirely.
When I met You
Addiction was my only problem
You created Everything Els that causes daily doubts and arguments
I Was Once comfortable
In My own body.
like Everyone Els,
There are Things
I wish To Change Or have.
My Weight Didn't Bother me.
I didn't care about My physical Appearence much.
I Was Once Able To Go
A Full Month Without worrying About my looks.
until I Met You.
Everything Changed For me.
You Told me So Much.
Certain Likes,
Preferences & Dislikes.
What Your Taste in Women Are.
Hearing everything, I was far off.
Now Being Beautiful
is important to me.
Having A Smooth face, Slim Body *** And ****** Is What I feel I need To be Accepted And Liked.
Many Opportunties will Open And I will attract Friends.
Looking Beautiful In This World is The key To a happy life in my Eyes
Every Pretty Person I've seen
Is Happy with them self.
they have their Life together and living so well,
You are privileged in this world If You are goregeous.
It makes me cry
Every time I reach out for it.
I don't feel pleased When I'm about to Consume it.
It makes me feel horrible knowing I'm only doing this to forget the pain you put me through.
To Erase The memories .
How I wish I never went through this. Everyday I'm wishing I looked beautiful .
Light skin, well dressed, *** & big ****** like
You happily explained your type
All I Want is To Feel Happiness.
Go A Full Day Without Worrying About Nothing Naturally.
I Don't know how to See The beauty Life provides.
To Feel The Breeze And Have The sun Shine on me.
Went through My poems and deleted The short Ones.
I then Merged Them with another that’s similar .
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
How God Smilied bright
To see me sober from the sky
A beautiful 19.
I managed to stay clean all Year.
I broke the record .
14 15 16 17 18
Dear how that year my soul recovered.
I smiled so bright
Knowing everything from now on
Will shine .
A big relief.
I will never turn to tweak
I set free. Finally.
Thanks to my loving Companion
Who made sobriety possible.
My dog Mia.
For her I stood my ground
Held myself down
A dreamy 19 Drug free
My first year without drugs
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
If he wants to believe
My love was never there.
I must accept
That all my tears were never seen
If he wants to believe
I never cared
I must accept that all my effort
went to waste.
In a life.
We encounter many interests.
In which we put ourselves to experience
what seems so delighting.
In a life .
We are first witness & what
We thought turned out good was opposite
Our views changed
Either purposely or unnoticed.
In this world you won’t do things you Dont want to.
You will never enjoy something forceful.
To my point , my feelings hurt as I say this.
Now I realize ..
I have to accept it is part of reality
If the Man Im my world
, sees me as the problem
like his stress & headaches
Without me ever truly offending In any type of  way
I have to accept it.
If he’s starting to think of his own life without me.
I much accept it.
I was a doubt
he mingled me around
swerved different ways
played with me a bit.
like life
he liked, but wasn't that found of me
to me
and
mostly me
here
am
i
in
this
silence stalking
moonbeams turn
tasting wine glass
glanced
here
am
i
in
be
tween
both glaces
catch me here
like breath
dances
what
say
you
to
me
?
...
..
.
buisness
of
known
nightime
escapes
never
me
...
..
.
chloe fleming Dec 2017
Don't call me beautiful,
Or say I shine like a star.
I am a constellation made up of some horrible parts.
I am a disaster supported by weakened knees,
I am the road rage you feel on a Friday night.
I am the raw pain of loneliness and heartache,
That will keep you up in a fright.
But don't let me scare you,
Don't hide in fear.
Keep me close,
I can show you the good,
less miserable parts.
I am also hot water,
That massages your lungs.
I am the serenity you feel whilst reading a book.
I am the blissful silence in the midst of chaos,
I am the delicate nature of humanity.
I am not bad, nor am I good,
I am a mess.
Please don't let it scare you.
Don't cower in fear.
Let me consume you,
Twist my heart around yours.
Do you love me the way I am
Do you love me for me
Or do you only love me when I'm tamed
Like a beast in hibernation

Are we only ever going to live like this
The light in my eyes no longer shinning
Feelings becoming blunt
Diluted by all those medications

Do you not miss the times
When our love was a wildfire
We burned everything in our way
Our flames never faltered

Going to the beach unprepared
We still stripped off our clothes
Throwing ourselves out into the sea
Free as a eagle soaring through the skies

Holding hands and shivering
In wet clothes and soaking undergarments
We burnt stronger than the cold
As we board the train home together

That was the beauty in love
The true beauty of life
That pack of restraint
The freedom of insanity

I'm not trying to disappoint you
Just choosing to be freed
Like a bird can't fly with twigs in it's wings
I will burn as bright as yesterday
Gabriel burnS Nov 2017
She was playing with the rim of her glass. Running a finger. She wasn’t fully aware, it wasn’t really on purpose. As if the glass was playing with her, not the other way around. Her fingertips went down on the glass, caressing its stem. There was so much happening in the back of her head that she wasn’t completely present. She dipped her finger and got a taste. Just the tip, she thought. Just a drop. Why? There was no “why”. Something was going down. She wanted to break the ice and make him forget about protocols and small talk and all the boring stuff. Her clock was already ahead. Her lips weren’t kissing the glass. They were elsewhere. Kissing the tip. She wanted that dip. She wanted his lips on the rim of her glass. Sipping from her. Something had spilled somewhere. But not the cool of the wine. It was warm. Who knows where it had started to trickle. Somewhere behind her eyes, would be a good guess. But it was inevitable where it would end up. It would part lips. It would not be contained. Here thighs were clenched shut like a vise. Her tongue craved new flavor. She wanted to excuse herself but she felt a bizarre excitement in walking on a razor-thin edge of a boiling sensation. The tease. The pleasant torture. He had stopped talking. He was focused on her lips. How long has it gone like that? Her casual gestures couldn’t mask anything now. She was all color seeping from behind the makeup. She suddenly caught his stare just like she would his hand. But she would not deflect it. She would guide him. And this realization exploded in her head… and everywhere simultaneously. She closed her eyes briefly and exhaled. She climaxed.
“Are you okay?”
vanessa fonseca Oct 2017
Spinnin and spinnin
Head breaks off into a branch
The ends of my fingertips thin out
Like
I am dense in the middle: thin around the edges: i can feel myself melting away.
He told me
Ill meet you there, but someone will hurt you when the time is most wrong
boywasiright
vanessa fonseca Oct 2017
my heart broke and spilled on the highway
completely
out

i dont have any interactions with ppl that are not customer service interactions
im lonely.     feels like my brain is just logged off.
with an axe i start to work throoo my leg
my brains just off
1 million dollar winner
oh my brains just
off
   wont go on
i hit a pothole, pop my tire and
lose control
911 how are you today im amazing cuz I love life
im laying in the woods and i can't fall in love
with a  hammer i work at my head
til its far gone
Ili Norizan Oct 2017
He wasn't the first,
Definitely won't be the last,
But he left a huge hole,
A gap in my already broken heart,
For with him leaving,
He took a huge chunk of all that's left,
And I no longer know how,
Or if it's even possible to hold it together,
When everything's worn,
Torn,
Broken,
Beyond repair,
With no way to mend,
Perhaps maybe at the touch of another man,
Or only time can,
And frankly,
I don't even want to find out,
Unless of course if and only if it were to happen;

I took a risk,
Not once,
Not twice,
But every given chance,
And it was worth every bit of the pain,
But for now I'm trying not to bleed,
Even if it's just ink on papers torn,
For just about anyone to read.

@byizn
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