i write out the letters and
i send them without shaky hands
is this it? is this growth?

I remember with you,
In the summer of '08,
Life was never blue,
And life was great.

Fly ***** and Popcorn,
I bet I can eat the most.
Triple stacks, Laser Tag,
Whys Phineas's head a triangle eh?

A lot I recall,
And I lot I remember.
You're not a 2nd rate,
And most definitely a diabetic so stop lying and saying you're sweet.

It's hard to talk now,
And **** happens in life.  
Life has a weird way of making **** complicated with complications.
Ive got to say,
But for now I refrain,
So please wait till I say I'm okay, okay?
Great.

So while Nostalgia, was it? That reminds me of a better, understand I love you, even though I'm not comfortable in this weather.

You write letters with your broken pen
after waking up from a dream
undisturbed, among peonies soaked in water
your feet rest against the sand
that once kissed the moon
and the stars write back to you
transcripts of our conversations,
like fragrance, they leave a trail in the wind
and we remember them
on those odd nights of wakeful dreaming

Hey Mommy?

When I type bat instead of cat, do the letters get mad at me?

Is it a vacation, a retirement to the land far away,
full of words I’ll never get to know,
or did I send them away to crumble into pixels?

Is that forgotten apology chopped up
into little pieces in the back of the computer,
a plastic box under the harddrive
that Daddy gets to clean out
when he refills the printer ink?

I want to read the book filled with all the lost letters,
the one where my fourth-grade book report
comes after the job application you were never qualified for,
but just before the neighbor’s college essay,
deleted so his own Mommy could help him.

Hey Mommy?

Can I ever check on them?

I hope they turn into a book about superpowers.

I’d be sad if these keys turned into nothing more
than a scrapped poem or a forgotten apology.

Hey Mommy?

I miss the forgotten letters.

Do you think they ever miss me?

You hear the thud.
Put on your dressing gown, rub your eyes.
And wearily approach the door, wondering what it could be.
Another bill, another promotion in a cunning disguise?

But there it is, dressed elegantly in plain white,
With the stamp placed perfectly on the right.
You see the swirls in the handwriting,
The way they flick the k’s and how they curl their c’s.

You try to guess who sent this wonderful surprise
You pick it up with care and, for an instant, freeze
Then you abandon all restraint, and rip it apart
Desperate to read what’s at its heart.

It takes thought and love to write.
In a world full of texts, facetimes and calls.
A letter hits the spot just right.

A short story, addressed to you
And only you
A little piece of history lies in your hand
Keep these letters

Store them safely away
For they will fill your heart with joy
When you re-read them on a melancholy day
Next time you are at a loss  for something to do
I beg of you, put down that phone
Take out a pen and write a letter or two.

Dear Love.

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

This is my first love letter to you and i hope there will be many more to come. You deserve to be cherished and showered in love because you are an amazing man. You snuck up on me unawares and laid siege to my heart. Lord knows i tried to resist you but you cant escape destiny. We were like two forces meant to collide.I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I know we are miles apart and this is online — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little things with you. Big things. Anything that will cement our love.

You worry because you think you can not give me something that you want to and think I need. You worry about not being enough. But darling you are the sum of everything i ever wanted. You needn’t worry. I love you in so many ways so much — even if you gave me nothing,I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, far and imperfect, are so much better than anyone else I know past and future. I believe everything happens for a reason and our destiny brought us together because we are stronger as a whole. I want an imperfect perfect love with you giving each other things no one else dared.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a boyfriend irl. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t want anyone else because my eyes are set on you— they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.