The pain has begun to burn a hole straight through my chest,
It stings and sizzles as I try to smile, slowly crushing whatever’s left of this thing I call my heart.
The Waves of darkness that wash over me  cause this frail body to shut down, and exhaustion sets in, with the strong girl I once was long gone theres no chance for me anyway.
So please just let the wind sweep away my ashes, and let me finally be what i’ve always wanted to be...

Free.

i hope one day
you will look back and
you will remember
remember how you had me
how i did everything for you,
and gave you all the love i had to offer
and how you
let me go
i hope you will regret
                                    and regret
                                                       and regret
that you gave
nothing
back to me.

Please let me leave

Mountains have risen up
that I created
by leaving my clothes in a pile
by tossing my responsibilities upon it
by heaping insult upon injury
by throwing caution to the wind
and by washing my mind down the drain.


Just let me leave

Too many times have I yearned to breathe
to inhale without holding back
to take it all in
to smell the roses
to take a deep breath....
and then breathe it out
blowing dandelions
letting it all out
exhaling without care.


Let me go.

I've given up on so many things I cared about
Too many of them were important
and now I have no excuses
except that I lost hope
and I thought I couldn't finish
and I believed it wasn't worthwhile
and the pain was too much to bear
and I didn't believe it would get any better.


Can I go home?

Finals week is taking its toll,
and nothing can make this better
except a big comfy bed
a mother's embrace in the morning
a hot cup of coffee in pajamas
tv shows I loved as a kid
brothers to goof around with
a smoothie when dad gets home.

I just want to go home.

Go away.
From my heart,
from my soul,
from my head.

Leave me, please.
Take the memories.
Take the pain.
Take it all.

I don’t want to have your smile memorized.
I don’t want your eye color to be my favorite color.
I don’t want you.
I can’t want you.
I need you gone.

You don’t even know it,
you have this suffocating grasp on my life.
On me.
I can’t breathe here.
Because you’re so close,
so far away.

I should hate you.
I want to hate you.
I can’t though,
my heart won’t let me.

If you ever loved me, let me go.
Let me go
let me go
let me go.

Release me from this suffering,
release me from needing to know you’re okay,
release me from needing to check in on you,
release me from being more worried about you than myself.

****.
****.
****.
Just put me out of my misery.

So many people all around,
I'm crowded in this space;
Noises, voices, endless choices,
Mind starts to erase.

Walls start closing in on me,
I'm trapped inside this place;
Cries, surprise, I realize,
I'm just another face.

Get me out, let me go,
My blood begins to race;
Shining, pining, no declining,
Breaking out with no disgrace.

The box they put me in is gone,
I'm a circle in this square place;
Blinding, finding more, reminding
The trapped to find escape.

Can't think anymore
If you would just let me go
Maybe I'd feel free.