I’m damaged goods, baby
Or did you forget?
Loose-leaf paper crumpled and discarded,
Like every poem I couldn’t bring myself to finish.

This girl comes with a lifetime guarantee
of cynicism and constant apologies
and selfish laziness.
For a low price of only commitment and patience,
you can become proudly entangled in my dysfunction and  constant need for reassurance.

You didn’t receive me shiny and brand new
I have mileage, and I’m not afraid to admit
That most of it is self-inflicted.
I have scars that tell stories
and a schema that has been shaped
by 22 years of poor judgment
and never feeling good enough.

And I can’t help but wonder,
what it would be like if I was stable and motivated.
Would you still get frustrated
when I lay in bed until 3 in the afternoon?
Would I be able to accomplish
all of the seemingly simple tasks
that always feel larger-than-life to this pint-sized girl?
Would you love me more?

I’m jaded, baby
and I think sometimes you forget
that when I’m putting on a face
and trying to be less of a disappointment,
I’m still made of fragmented parts
that have been glued back together
one too many times.

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Trying to make the most of each moment,
Trying to stay positive and not lose hope
Kicked my toe, on the bed corner
**** hurts like hell
Bad luck streaks building up again
This has to change sometime soon
They say good things will come to you
The longer you wait,
the bigger the reward
Starting to think those people are all talk
Not sure where they picked up that thought

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Lost all sense of social skill
Can't chill, can't keep it real
Trying to find the light
Amongst all this dark
Trying to find something
To spark this broken heart
Nothing seems to go to plan
Keep trying to improve myself and
become a better man
Insecurities are getting the better of me again

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Feels like I'm wishing
On broken mirrors
Life really kicks you
When your down
Thought there wasn't anything lower than the ground
It seems I've found a deeper ditch
Sometimes life makes you its *****
And you get fed up with all this ****
And all you can think
Yeah all you wanna do
Is sleep the whole day through

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

©2017 Written By Benji James

Should I not cut grass
or ****, taking lives only
trying to get sun?

©  2017 Jim Davis

It slapped me
so hard
that it shook
the darkness
out of my sadness
and the apathy
out of my routine

It slapped me
so hard
that it awoke me
from my nightmares
and took me to daydreams
that float outside my
window fabricating
fantasies only to
entertain my
mind on a boring
afternoon

The fan is on, the lights have gone, I sit and contemplate the dawn
I woke at four with sheets unkempt, and lay a while in the gloom
And, lying pond’ring what I'd dreamt, remained in limbo in my room

The fan is on, the lights have gone, I sit and contemplate the dawn
I rolled my neck, and as I lay, I heard a whipbird’s lashing call
As sundry different shades of day embossed the fissures in my wall

The fan is on, the lights have gone, I sit and contemplate the dawn
From out the window sun rays peek, to heat, with sweeping hand, the eaves
Up! ‘Round the radiant beams I sneak, to chase the cool my shadow leaves

The fan is on, the lights have gone, the schedules and the blinds are drawn
A breeze now beckons through the door, a-rustling my curtain, kind,
And fills the room with petrichor, ephemeral and unconfined

The fan is on, the lights have gone, I rub my eyes, and stretch, and yawn
The gentle breeze begins to sough as sultry does the weather grow
And magpies on the wattle’s bough blend songs with crickets down below

The fan is on, the lights have gone, a sparrow flits upon my lawn
The iridescent dew breaks free and turns to mist above the knoll
A summer’s breath, a gentle plea; a panacea for the soul

The fan is on, the lights have gone, I sit and contemplate the dawn

The plot of dirt has vines growing
But the rain drowns them again.
In the water, the leaves dance lazily,

waving, the pool floods over the broken
sidewalk, kissing my feet
I rush through.

The sky gives me a coat of mist
And I hug myself tighter
Wishing I could sleep.

Don't live like a king,
For it can be taken away.
Lazy work,
Never fully pays.
Why then do we act like we'll exist forever?
When crowns can be taken,
Rules bent to our pleasure.
Kingdoms can be burned down,
A fools mind ignorant.
For their folly will be exposed,
As their noise is incoherent.
So don't live like a king,
With riches a plenty.
When you don't have any there,
Lest become a tragic setting.
We learn much is to be found,
From an experience to comprehend.
Living like a king,
Will hurt you in the end.

I stare into the clouded night sky
That shines the light of the sun on the clouds
Via the moon that orbits the Earth
Continuously
Round and round
Held in by
Just the right amount
Of gravity.
Nothing more,
Nothing less.

I am the moon
That moves on continuously
Seeking something more
But spending time frivolously.
Not moving forward
Or backward
But
Riding a course almost effortlessly
Weighing the balance of my course
On the moment and not
Resisting the force of the Earth.

I am the Earth
Attracting nothing useful to myself
Losing my health exponentially
My skin scars grow deeper
With the pollution of the bacteria
Ever multiplying
Not even their deaths diminishing
The pain of my barrier being torn
By my internal conflict
And I...
Just float.
Orbiting a greater body than I.

I am the sun
Feeling not the heat that is embedded
Within me
I question
If I can really feel anymore
Even though my skin is warm
My core still fusing,
Beating,
Emotions clashing within me
So much so that my body
Distances its core
From the surface
And I forget to worry
If...
I expand so far
And then collapse
Into myself
And become a void
******* in emotions
Numbly
Because I lost what was left of me.

I am the universe
Full of mystery
Full of dark shades
And galaxies plenty
Many planets,
Stars and satellites
That whirl and whirl
Into sight
Or disappear in a black hole.
I am the universe
That continues to expand
Stretching
Straining
Out of hand
Continuing on
Because I can
And this universe
This body is not mine
I cannot end it
At least,
It has not expended enough
To implode
Nor do I want it to
By the will that subconsciously
Remains within me.