Movie theatres
Your arms around me at them all
Eating food in the food court at the mall
Should have known something was up when you’d never call
When you’re up texting me
Asleep I’d never fall

Nowadays we never talk we hit a wall
Wish I knew how you felt about it all

Used to wear your t-shirt and all your sweaters
Said it made you kinda mad cause I wore it better
Watching horror movies on your bed
I guess you never knew you were ******* with my head

This boy he started texting me all the time
Haven’t talked to him in a year or the start of 9th
Said he’s had a thing for me
Thought that was cool
But I didn’t really care
I was a fool,
For you
And the things you do
I mean the things you did
The things I never said
But the things you did
Like how you’d rather die than date me
Love me or hate me,
I wish we still talked
I miss laughing the way I did around you
I annoy you, All I want is attention.
Yeah, from you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It’s been 6 months
That boy who started talking to me
He hurt me.
I deserved better, like you said,
I wish you still talked to me.
I’ve been needing someone to make me laugh the way you did.
You decided to side with the one who hurt me.
I don’t know I just kinda miss you.

Life does not get better
Luckily, you do

I know you have the strength
Even though you don't believe me
Are you questioning everything?
Well, that's pretty ******' easy

Don't let the the rude
World of words, like mine, hurt

Understand, no one cares
So it's important that you work

To make yourself better
Because you are better
You're a hero
In a hammock
Sleeping
It's just that you don't know it

Understand that ignorance
Won't bring gifts of bliss for long

Understand that you're not different,
You really are not ---

But you will not understand
Because you cannot YET

In a few years you'll step back
and see
and laugh

And smack your head
And smile

And despite the disbelief you'll feel
Nostalgic for these day

You'll be happy for that
Self-deceiving
Soul that you portrayed

And you will know
It's gotten worse
But you...
You are doing just okay

i think
that the most beautiful thing in life
is finding genuine happiness

finding it with the people you love
and showing each other
what your idea of it is

whether it be
waking up at 5 to see the sunrise
having breakfast for dinner
laughing until your stomach aches
seeing your favorite band in concert
or just being in the presence of someone
who shares the same love for you
that you do them

Don't blame me
If you don't want
To die laughing

i can't understand the tug at my lips when i see gore,
when pain happens,
when i think of a painful memory,
yet my heart still squeezes,
still wheezes,
still sputters,
still hurt,
but because i carry on while the storm that is against me,
and the only weapon i wield is my smile,
because they will never know how broken i am

[ kind of a part two ]

i laugh when my eyes rain,
when raindrops trickle down my cheek,
have you ever realized that sobbing and laughing sound so similar?
when someone laughs they can be crying in the inside,
when someone sobs they can be happy,
i think its a way of laughing off the pain,
just so you won't give in,
because then you lost,
and we don't want that.

I am no more
than champagne
laughing

Whether it’s 5 p.m or 5 a.m, I laugh as loud as I want.
Laughter is a stream of gold cascading through the air.
It is the end all, the ultimate painkiller.
The path to redemption.
Laughter.
Well, it is 5 a.m, but I’m not laughing.
I’ve been reading stories
Of sadness and sordidity,
romance and restlessness,
love and loneliness–all for hours on end.
So much for lightheartedness, there’s none of that here.
I’ve been reading amateur-made stories
That still tug at the deepest recesses of my depression.
One in particular inspired me to write a certain story of my own.
It was sad, it was juvenile,
It was beautiful, it was nostalgic.
The prose in that story should only ever be thought of
In the most proper manner:
shrouded in a hazy mist of wistfulness and bittersweet longing.
Different hues of glowing colors,
Images of fog.
For so long I thought I was through with this part of my life.
The part where I felt so lonely that I could drop dead of touch deprivation.
But it has returned.
Nothing will do to stop this acquired disease.
Mine is a loneliness, such as a thirst
That cannot be quenched with mere drops of water.
It becomes a way of life.
O’ joy, where do you reside?
Oh, forget it. You’re lost on me.