You’re not my fairytale ending person,
You’re my im drunk and I shouldn’t text him person.
Youre the person I see instead when im thinking of him,
Because when I start hurting you are what numbs it.

You’re not on my mind like he always is.
You are what I take to numb my pain.
And I know its ****** to do this to you.
That’s why part of me’s hoping you do it too.

You make me feel wanted,
You make me feel good.
You make me feel all these things he never would.

Thats why youre so **** good at what you do,
Why you’re so **** good at numbing me.
Thats why I text you when Im hurting from him,
Cause you make me forget that he didn’t want me,
And that’s the temporary relief that I need.

In the morning I’ll be fine,
I’ll wake with no scars.
But you won’t be lying beside me,
And I’ll still wake with an empty heart.

you’d said I’d broken your heart
said it was all my fault
said it was because of me

you flaunt the scars on your heart
blaming me for the crosses and trails of blue and black

telling me how irresponsible I am while your hand fumbles in my pocket for my heart while you’re just reaching for my wallet

squeezing your arteries and veins
pouring it all in a wine cup
sipping it in front of everyone
and it’s my fault that you’re a vineyard

putting your legs on the table
boasting about the abrasions on your knees
bragging about the finger marks around your neck
and it’s my fault that you live in a brothel

swaggering about in your “cheap” designer nightgown
gloating about your lipstick that isn’t waterproof
and it’s my fault you’re not a trending makeup tutorial vlogger

you can go on and on
but why should I listen

when you were the one who juiced the life out of my heart made me kneel before you choked me till my neck caved in turned me into a loveless prune painted my face red with your blood

how can you say all that
when you’re really the murderer here

Warm thoughts... Love
5 years old, Safe, a dream.
Happiest with my Nan,
My best friend, my mum.

This dream, so strong,
Just can't be wrong.
It couldn't be ignored,
Started me on a photography course...

Not Sure? Only good will, arise.
Positive thoughts in my mind's eye.
Let's go somewhere,change things,
I can help, don't you know?

Oh how I was wrong...
Instead I met Crow.

It’s a strange muse, this murderous blue.
So many drawn to her splendor
So many drawn to their death

“Julie was truly something else.”
I thought to myself as I watched her dying.
I’ll miss her warmth against my chest,
Believe me, I will. I’m not lying.

I had my reasons, you see.
There’s always a trigger to my madness.
She said we were never meant to be,
And I couldn’t bear the thought of her with someone else.

I snapped.

Her splattered blood painted a perfect picture,
That only a killer’s eye could see.
The blank canvas was my kitchen floor,
And the masterful Artist was me.

I am never gonna change.
I don't need to.
I'm already everyhing.
I am what you call deranged.
People see that.
I'm already dead.
Far away and out of range.
I don't want to.
I don't need friends.
I am never gonna change.
Just so you would.
Start to like me.
I am not controlled or stopped.
Say goodnight to niceties.
Goodbye to free will.
Hello misery.
If you ever cross me.
I'm sorry doctor.
There's nothing to cure.
I just hurt because I can.

You’re the reason your mom is an addict
That wasn’t ****, you secretly like it
Your dad didn’t hug you goodbye on his death bed for a reason
You’re a ****** mother, you’re destroying your children
You can’t even keep your house clean, you’re no better than your step mom
You like it rough because you need to feel abused, ******* freak
You don’t know what normal is, you will never be normal
None of this is even real, you’re insane
You will never succeed at anything
You are a burden to everyone you know
You might as well end it now and spare everyone......

Nothing will **** you faster than your own thoughts.