A stab for a word.
A shot in the dark.
We die for a look
trying to justify who we are.

With this incantation
this formula;
Action.
Reaction.

Let me choose my faction
Contradict this faith
Cause no one's contributing
To my collection plate

Imbued by escapades,
that gifted
my man,
his hood.

Protecting my pride
Portraying my promises
Pure or profane
For pleasures and pains

Pushed by pixels.  
Saline soaked tissues.
Rent, rats, respect, rules
Tend to tempt the next move.

Excuse the grime on my shoes,
the grim in my eyes
cause I can’t tell the consequence
of showcasing a kinder side

I thought you were trying to make me a better person,
I thought you knew better than I did,
but you don’t,
and I know I’m better off without you,
because all you have been trying to make out of me,
is a person you can control.

i want to tell you.
i really do.
i'd love to spill my secrets, my issues to you.
yet i can't comprehend it.
i can't communicate it to you.
and the fact you could leave me.
it makes my heart a tearful blue.
you already look at me as if i'm broken.
what do i have to lose?
i want to tell you.
i really do.
yet i can't cope with the fact.
the fact your presence may fade.
vanish without a trace.
except you'd still have that key.
the key that can unlock the darkness in my brain.

Hi, I'm Hannah.
I like reading and old books and tea. you could say I'm an  old soul. I also have a mild alcohol problem and if you can't handle that then you can leave already because my alcohol problem isn't just an alcohol problem it's a depression problem and I use alcohol to cover it all up.
You see, instead of fixing or facing our problems. more often than not we cover them with even more bigger and dangerous problems. Sometimes I'll start drinking and I'm not getting drunk as fast as i'd like to cover the pain and so I'll take codeine with it.
DO NOT MIX CODEINE WITH ALCOHOL. EVER.
it's dangerous and stupid but i'm dangerous and stupid but this can literally **** you.

My "friends" who i think are my friends, even though when i try to be a good friend they turn to each other and not me. But that's cool as long as they get the help they need even if it makes me feel completely useless. Anyway my friends, they noticed my issue with drinking, i just don't think they cared enough to help or at least i hid it so well that they had no idea they needed to help me.
This is all that it is. A cry for help.
Because I'm screaming and drowning at the deep end of a pool but the lifeguard can't swim.
I'm screaming but all my friends are deaf and I'm trying to show them but they're blind.

Then I turn to you.
You're the beacon of light in the distance. You're the destination my ship is supposed to go and it's following your light, the only hope left. My ship is finally sailing back home. It's been gone for weeks, months, years but it's finally coming back from the war.

But you're too far away.
And my ship sunk at the rocky shore.

I wake up. Alone. Covered in last nights make up.
What did I do last night?

Without you I am lost

How do I navigate winding emotions alone?
What is needed to direct my feet forward instead of backwards?
Which way is North?
How do I know without owning a compass or even a vague faded map?

Sobriety is quite a puzzling place to lose your way
I need assistance

Someone to help me solve
The riddle I have become