took a dive and hit the deep end again

oh, where did it all go wrong?
(where did it all go wrong?)

it’s hard to pinpoint, or start,
i caused so many problems

(i feel so hollow)

all i know is destruction is my adrenaline
and

i don’t want the high to ever end.

i don’t want to feel.
i don’t want to heal.

so give me the fix, and let’s pretend,

because all i’ve got is sink or swim,
survive, and hold on,

because this wire has frayed,
split apart

and took a nosedive
headfirst into the heart.

oh, where did it all go wrong?

i took a chance, now star-crossed

the fire in me, once strong,
sways and flickers,
before going dark.

oh, where did it all go wrong?

the wires are crossed,
the messages aren’t clear
and

habits die hard.

the question is whether i can quit this

or will i dive headfirst
into my own sins?

clouded by judgment, lost within,

can’t say i didn’t give my all.

i just find it easier
just to give in.

I've thought deep and true for an idea,
Of a topic I can center my poem on.
There was none that surfaced,
So none shall it be.

No weight of subject to anchor us down,
No limits to hinder, no thoughts to drown.
In the vast expanse where stillness is known,
The heart of nothingness is brightly shown.

Akin to the sound of one hand clapping,
Like raging winds in the eye of the storm,
Let us contemplate on nothing,
Let us define the absence of form.

A blank canvas for something to exist,
The absence for the heart to grow fond,
It is a silence so deep, where echoes are drawn,
The root of the void where all things are gone.

Without, none, nothing, doesn't exist,
Synonyms, or a sentence wrongly punctuated.
One thing is for certain: this poem's been fun.
A topic to discuss, indeed I have... none.

I've got my rose-colored glasses on  
And skies in my eyes.  
I've got stumbling thoughts in my head  
And a few choice words (for you),  
Trapped in the back of my throat, (just for you).

I've been sitting at the piano,  
Staring out the window,  
Thinking
how strange it is... that;  
Well, blue is associated with sadness  
When the sky is so beautiful,  
Like you  
When you're laughing  
Because of  
Me.

We never really say "good morning", do we?  
It's only ever 🫂 (a blue hug)
We never really say "how do you feel, today?"  
It's only ever "I need coffee."

I'm trying to find the expressions,  
But the keys keep playing the wrong notes.  
It ain't right

Blue skies
Aren't empty
They hold
Clouds, resembling objects,
Always drifting, changing
Making me feel
I'm always free-falling
What if it falls apart mid-flight?  
Will we survive?

The sky has never been so blue
My vision has never been so blue
I don't think I was made for blue skies

I'm not an Obrina Olivewing butterfly.  
My blue isn't true;  
It's just the way I see light right now,  
A false perception
A state of mind

but I...  

I've got my rose-colored glasses on  
for you
just for you
My one and only
🫂

Blue

Channel 2

Nightly News

Who even knows anymore?


The clink of dishes


Disarray


Discussions a-bout dynamite


Likely to tear my hair out


It's fair to say I'd scare


my younger self


Wouldn't recognize,


or even know how to reply


to the sight of things


Paranoia creepin' in


Might have to do with,


all that research I been readin'


Either tricks are being played


Or something is amiss
in the way you treat me...

The windows are closed,
The lights are off,
My mind and I are all I´ve got.

My friends are there,
nowhere to be found,
and I am here
all alone.

I wish I could,
reach out and feel
the love for you
I always craved.

But all I have,
and all I know,
is the way
the bottles
stir up my soul.

I missed you once,
I missed you twice,
Then I drank,
Forgot at once.

I knew there was more,
and I opened the door,
you entered with pride,
but I was alive.

I look at you
A ghost without boundaries
My hands reaching out
To grasp your heart
Nothing there to stop me

I look at you
Ephemeral
And ethereal
I wonder when you’ll see
The way I view you
An abstract concept
Far away
Never to be found
Never to be touched
Yet an object of limerence
An object of love
That is not to be realized

Saudade
Object of obsession
You are nothing more than that
You are much more than that

A ghost without boundaries
Dead yet alive in my mind
Fitting in the puzzle pieces
As I fit the parts of my heart
Last time it fell for you